First Time, and i'm nervous

[staplesj_]

So, i'm a guy. I am 25 years old and I am still a virgin.

I have decided that I want to have a sexual encounter before I get married. I want to take it slow because I am not ready for PIV sex ( penetration ) yet. I wanted to try making out, rubbing, kissing and oral sex. I want to be safe though. Because of my strict christian upbringing im working through shame and it's been hard. But the truth is im way too horny to wait till marriage.

When I have my first time with oral sex i'm kind of nervous. How do I eat a girl out? And when it comes to PIV sex for virgins I am going to use condoms for sure but is the pull out method effective? I'm always afraid of finishing too early because the sensation is new for me.

What do I focus on when going down on a girl?

Thanks : )

[Nicole]

Hi staplesj_,

Welcome to the boards! You're definitely in the right place if you're interested in learning more about safe sex. I'm glad to hear that you've been working on unlearning the problematic information that has been instilled in you for so long! If you feel comfortable, we're here if you want to talk about it.

To start, the withdrawal method is not perfect--no type of birth control is perfect. Here is one of our articles with more information on that: Birth Control Bingo: Withdrawal. Moving forward, I do want to mention that the withdrawal method does not protect from STIs, condoms are a good barrier method of birth control that provides protection against STIs. Here is one of our resources on safe sex in general: Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To. I think you would really benefit from reading this! Moreover, I want to mention that some people utilize the withdrawal method along with using barriers like condoms, which sounds like what you were thinking of doing, is that correct?

As for oral sex, the articles that I linked above do include some information about safety. Other than that, we have so much content on our website on oral sex that it might benefit you to go and explore. Simply searching "oral sex" on our main page will introduce you to so many resources. With that, we can't exactly tell you what to do or what not to do, but I want to recommend you this piece that might be helpful: Mouthing Off on Oral Sex.

Before I go, I want to leave you with one of our articles that might help/interest you in the future as you continue to explore your sexuality, here's a link: First Intercourse 101. I hope this helps!