I'm 23, have ADHD, still a virgin (though I've somewhat lost my ability to care) and for a long time, I've quit dating because I haven't been able to figure it out. I've always been a pretty active person but lately I haven't found any places to reliably meet women my age, let alone ones I'd want to date. My hobbies include exercising, geek related stuff like games and anime, and drawing and posting stuff online. However, these things have either resulted in me being completely alone or at a place with all guys. People keep saying that I need to "get a hobby with more women" but that means fundamentally changing myself to meet the expectations of others and it's just made me look desperate (trust me, I have tried). I do my hobbies because I enjoy them, not because they are what I'm "supposed to be doing."
I guess I feel like everything is set up in a way that makes me feel like I need to fundamentally change myself to get any results, and even then it yields none. It's just made me feel unloved and unable to embrace who I am. The very concept of dating feels like it's lost its appeal to me because everywhere I go and try, the environment is never right. Everyone always talks about how dating nowadays is shallow and isn't real anymore, and that honestly just adds to the disconnect from everyone. I don't even know what I'm searching for in a date anymore if that's the case
I just don't know what to do anymore except give up on the very idea completely. All the advice I've been given so far feels like garbage and the passive approach hasn't really worked either. I just don't know what to do anymore