Can't feel him during sex

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foottaps
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2021 11:03 am
Age: 22
Awesomeness Quotient: If given the option I would become a pterosaur
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: A college campus

Can't feel him during sex

Unread post by foottaps »

I had sex for the first time really recently with my boyfriend. We were both virgins, so the first time went relatively fast, but I didn't really mind that nor expect otherwise. I didn't feel anything myself during it, which didn't surprise me too much just from what I've heard about people's first times. It didn't even hurt, which I was kind of expecting. We've had sex two more times since, and I haven't felt anything from those times either. The most recent time, we started with me on top and eventually transitioned to missionary; there were two brief instances where I felt something, but other than that, nothing. I'm still enjoying the sex--I like that my boyfriend likes it and I still think it's fun, but I genuinely have no feeling in my vagina when we're having sex. I can feel him when he fingers me and I actually get a lot of pleasure from that; I know where I like to be touched and what angles work when it comes to that. I've kind of chalked it up to inexperience when it comes to sex, from both ends. It's much harder to control angles and pressure I'd say when you're having sex than when fingering, from his end.

I still want to keep having sex and I want to keep trying different positions, etc. Like I said before, it's still been fun for me! But I didn't really expect to not feel anything at all. It doesn't even feel like he's inside of me sometimes? Any suggestions or advice on this?
Coral
previous staff/volunteer
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2021 10:16 am
Age: 24
Pronouns: she/her
Location: MD

Re: Can't feel him during sex

Unread post by Coral »

Hey!

What you’re experiencing is not only completely normal but also very common! Most people with vaginas do not experience orgasms or even pleasure from penetration alone. Here’s a little excerpt from an article that I’ll also link below:
“The back ⅔ of the vagina has essentially no sensitivity, which is why sometimes someone can put a tampon in and hours later, realize they completely forgot about it. The lower ⅓ of the vagina and the vaginal opening are quite sensitive, though: the outer one-third of the vagina contains nearly 90 percent of the vaginal nerve endings. But the vagina, as a whole is not that sensitive to that fine touch we were talking about earlier: it tends to be more sensitive to pain than pleasure (which is not to say intercourse will or must hurt or should hurt), temperature changes or pressure.”
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... every_body
This article also has a lot of great information about arousal in general and might be useful to find other ways to feel pleasure when enjoying sex. Although a lot of people consider penetration as the most important aspect of sex, but everything else (foreplay, touching other areas, etc.) are just as if not more important! Hope this helps!
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