how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

Brand-new? This is the place for your questions and discussions on any and all topics, with fellow users or staff, while you get your feet wet.
utgard
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2021 11:42 pm
Age: 16
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: lesbian
Location: Victoria, Australia

how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

Unread post by utgard »

hi, so I'm a 15 yr old virgin, and I don't have a partner, but I really want to try BDSM and have been wanting to for a while, and I've also been doing as much research on it as I can.

I was gonna wait until I'm an adult, but then I realised I probably could do it as a teen? But I have no idea how to find other teens who wanna try it, because all the apps like that are only for adults.

Plus I'm a lesbian and definitely don't wanna do it with a man, so that probably makes it harder.

So yeah, does anyone have any ideas for what I could do?
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 8139
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi utgard,

Since the dating communities that center on BDSM are currently off-limits, it may help to look for a partner more generally; in other words, you may have to date around some! That gives you chances to meet people your age who you're interested in and attracted to who might be open to exploring BDSM with you. When you think about that suggestion, does it feel doable to you?

Too, while being lesbian can present unique dating challenges, plenty of women are interested in BDSM, so that may not end up being a barrier to finding the partner you're hoping to find.
Tbh Idk
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2022 3:01 am
Age: 14
Awesomeness Quotient: Everything
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She
Sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual
Location: Ny

Re: how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

Unread post by Tbh Idk »

To be honest I feel you I am also young and into bdsm and I don't know what to do about it I'm also bisexual but I just feel like people wont accept me bc of it and I feel like if I tell someone I'm with that I'm into that they will look at me differently
Elise
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 210
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 4:44 am
Age: 31
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: bisexual/queer
Location: Narrm/Melbourne

Re: how can I find other teens who want to try BDSM?

Unread post by Elise »

Hi there Tbh Idk, and welcome to Scarleteen. Sorry to hear that you are feeling stress about judgement at the moment. With something like sexual preferences around how an individual likes to do or dislikes (whether that's something labelled as kink, or as simple where someone enjoys being touched or kissed), that is an intimate subject that is generally shared with partners where there will exist a level of trust between the two to listen, and keep private things in confidence to each other. I am going to drop a few articles about this, and sexual communication here to give you a bit more info about this.
Once you've had a read of the above, please feel free to share any questions, thoughts or reflections that come to mind if you feel comfortable doing so.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic