Hi jenny01,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this
Parents and their ideas about how our lives should be are a pretty big hurdle to clear.
I have a few articles for you with applicable advice about boundaries, communication, and overprotectiveness.
When Worlds Collide: Dating and Dealing With Parents
How do I deal with my overprotective parents?Be Your Own Superhero: Learning How and When to Stand Up for Ourselves
I think you might be able to pull some good nuggets out of each of them even though they aren't responding to the exact same issues that you've described. I especially recommend the third one, which I will quote here:
Stating our needs and boundaries within an already-existing relationship is also important for adjusting the relationship to better suit us -- it's not just a one-off thing that happens at the beginning of a relationship. Aside from creating the framework for the relationship model, standing up for ourselves is actually also a big part of getting to know each other. Letting a person know that we are not okay with /something/, or that we would really like to have /this thing/ be a part of our relationship to feel satisfied, is letting the person know something about you; you are letting them know about something that is important to your sense of happiness and fulfillment. So, standing up for ourselves actually creates closer relationships and more mutual understanding and trust between people.
This may not be clear from the way I approached my response, so let me tell you where I'm coming from: I think your parents, from what you've told us, are more than overprotective because of fear for your well-being. They are overextending a level of control over your life. I think the practice that needs to be developed here will require a kind of bravery and persistence out of you, because this isn't a problem, if you wish to solve it, that will be supported by quietly accepting a failed attempt to communicate your desires. It's unlikely that the change will come about in some grand movie moment. It has to be tended like a garden; you have to think about what you want, communicate it, and try. Over and over again.
I understand that this advice is probably exhausting just to read, and I hope others who are involved in this conversation will be able to provide a perspective that I did not include here.
As always, I wish you luck.