hi heather.
to me he is a cool friend, we have the same political opinions and a very similar kind of humor, the same interests in books, music, media, we both like crafting and making art and can just talk for hours. we mostly did talk about non-sad stuff so far and i always enjoyed spending time with him. when i was pretty lonely talking to him made me feel better and he supported me in dealing with stress etc aswell.
i am just overwhelmed right now. i don't want to let him down but i also don't want him to experience all these weird rollercoster emotions in the first place. i don't know when to reach out again (as he said i should text him if i feel ready again) and how to reach out and what kind of boundaries i need. i'm actually quite sad that he has a crush on me. i never had a guy friend before and i felt really safe in a way that made me extremly happy and i'm not interested in dating anybody right now. i'd be totally fine with hanging out and not processing his emotions with him or talking about anxiety or sad stuff. not like he expects me to do! but it did happen, talking about my sad stuff and his sad stuff esp last week when there was a lot going on in his life (and he also did not braindump anything on me but reached out to online aquantainces), there just happened to be this panic attack where *I* have been responsible for the trigger, but he did not blame me at all.
i just wish he had friends tbh. and i don't think he will be weird about anything or disrespect my boundaries it's just something i don't want to deal with. it's probably just him confusing sadness and friendship for romantic feelings or maybe not, i don't know and i don't want to downplay any emotions he has. but to me, even if i'd be into him aswell, dating him in this position would be a no go for me. i think i'd be fine being friends and being both chill and safe about it while also slowing down how often we hang out and slowing down talking about deep, emotional stuff after it has been a bit too much for me the last week.
i think i just need help in figuring how distinguish between my own fears and valid concerns, and how to have good boundaries in this situation, i guess.