I moved your post to be it's on thread since it sounded like there were additional questions to talk about. With the worries about mess, are you able to set down a towel or something else on the bed, or masturbate in the shower or tub? That can make clean up way easier.
Since you originally posted this in a thread about telling squirting from orgasm, have you had a chance to read to this to see if any of it helps clear things up? Squirt: On Ejaculation
As far as orgasm goes, when you try masturbating, would you say you're mentally turned on and engaged in what's going on?