i cant finger myself?

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viridianx
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i cant finger myself?

Unread postby viridianx » Thu Nov 26, 2020 11:14 am

im 14 and ive been trying for a long time and i just cant finger myself? it's not necessarily a sexual thing anymore, i just want to know that im able to do it but whenever i try theres just pain and its very hard to get inside. i dont even know if it goes inside, but if it does then theres a point where it wont go in further. it doesnt exactly feel like a barrier, i dont think, theres just nowhere else for the finger to go, it feels really gross too.. its not the right word but it feels almost pulpy inside? and then its very sore and uncomfortable for a few hours after trying. im very scared of seeing a ob/gyn or anything similar because im really self conscious. does anyone else has this problem? is this normal or is there something wrong with me? thanks for all responses

Heather
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Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby Heather » Thu Nov 26, 2020 12:03 pm

Hey there, welcome to the boards. :)

Before I answer, can you tell me what kind of genitals you have? I'm assuming that you're trans and have a vulva/vagina given the ob/gyn comment, but I don't want to waste either of our time if I'm wrong in that assumption!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

viridianx
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 11:07 am
My primary language: english
My pronouns: he/him
Location: UK

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby viridianx » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:04 pm

Hi! and yes, you're right in that assumption! sorry i should have clarified before oOPS

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8545
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby Heather » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:11 pm

No worries!

So, it sounds to me like what you’re feeling is what the inside of the vagina feels like, that pulpiness. That’s normal. It’s also normal for there to be limits to where your fingers can go, both on the sides and at the end of the vaginal canal.

If you’re having pain and difficulty doing this and it’s not feeling good, are you doing this when you’re actually already sexually excited and have already been doing something else that does feel good? Are you using lube?

Mind if I also ask why you’re doing this since it sounds like it isn’t something you’re enjoying at all?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

viridianx
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 11:07 am
My primary language: english
My pronouns: he/him
Location: UK

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby viridianx » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:25 pm

I just want to know that i'm normal i guess, that i can do what other people do sometimes. i just figured something might be wrong since i can only get maybe an inch of my finger in before it feels very uncomfortable and almost painful. I don't get aroused often so i don't tend to try when i am, its just the hope that i'll eventually be able to prove to myself that i CAN do it if i ever wanted to. and i dont have access to actual lube but i try to lubricate the area as much as possible before attempting.

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8545
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby Heather » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:36 pm

There’s honestly no such thing as any one normal human body or set of abilities. We’re all very, very diverse.

That said, when someone isn’t aroused, the vaginal canal is shorter, and putting anything inside the vagina doesn’t tend to feel good. Same goes for going without lube. So all the conditions here have certainly not been at all optimal for this to be something that feels comfortable, let alone good. Make sense?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

viridianx
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2020 11:07 am
My primary language: english
My pronouns: he/him
Location: UK

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby viridianx » Thu Nov 26, 2020 2:41 pm

Okay, that makes sense! i might end up coming back to these forums if i have any questions again, but thank you a lot for the information! it's comforting to know i'm probably just not going about it right rather than something being wrong.

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8545
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: i cant finger myself?

Unread postby Heather » Thu Nov 26, 2020 4:02 pm

We're here whenever you like, there's no limit on questions. :). You're welcome!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead


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