My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

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gh0st_
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My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby gh0st_ » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:41 pm

I'm asking this for my girlfriend (which we are currently in a LDR) as she recently has gotten a fear of masturbating when before she had no problem. About a few months ago, my girlfriend tells me she felt dizzy and unwell, almost to the point where she'd pass out, after she masturbated a couple different times. This scared her a lot, but later she was diagnosed with Anemia which explained why. It took a while for her health to improve but thankfully she eventually started to feel better and to feel like herself again. Once she started feeling better after a few weeks, she tells me she decided to give masturbating another shot yet once she was close and done she felt panicked and terrified like she was gonna die despite her not having Anemia anymore or any other health issues. Now she expresses to me that shes frustrated and upset that she can't even seem to think about masturbating without getting scared. So my question is, what specifically could be the problem? What could she do to prevent herself from getting so scared? How can I help if I can??

Sam W
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Re: My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby Sam W » Thu Jul 30, 2020 8:22 am

Hi gh0st,

We can't say for certain what's going on, and it will be a little tricky since we're talking with you and not her (if she's interested, she's more than welcome to make an account here as well). But it sounds like her brain and body remember that masturbating made her feel really ill, so when she goes to try it now, she's reacting to the memory of that scary thing. As far as what you can do to help, have you asked her if there's a way you can support her?

Do you happen to know if she's ever experienced a lot of anxiety or panic around other things? Or is this a totally new experience for her?

gh0st_
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:37 pm
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: I'm mostly straight but a bit bi-curious
Location: United States

Re: My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby gh0st_ » Thu Jul 30, 2020 8:58 am

I've suggested asking for advice from websites like this but she has been a bit hesitant to do it so I thought I'd advocate for her ha.
Yes, I have asked how I can support her though she doesn't even know herself, so far all I've been doing is reassuring her that it'll get better eventually. I think her being stuck home all the time because of COVID-19 has caused her some distress from time to time as it gives her some cabin fever and has told me she feels kinda nervous for the future but nothing that seems to have given her anxiety or panic. I know she has diagnosed PTSD but from what I know on what she has told me none of that is related or has been affecting her experiences before things went downhill.

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6810
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby Sam W » Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:24 am

I'm glad you two are talking so openly about this, and that you're doing what you can to be supportive! I will say the pandemic is causing a lot of anxiety, and that said anxiety can crop up in unexpected places for people. So, it could be playing a role here.

If she's working with anyone around her PTSD right now, she could also bring this up with them, as that would give her a space to process it. But in some ways, the short term solution is likely to hold off on masturbating for awhile. That might be frustrating, especially if it's something she usually enjoys. But at a certain point, trying to push through panic could accidentally reinforce the "masturbation=thing to be scared of" link in her brain.

gh0st_
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:37 pm
My pronouns: He/him
My sexual identity and orientation: I'm mostly straight but a bit bi-curious
Location: United States

Re: My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby gh0st_ » Thu Jul 30, 2020 5:17 pm

I see, a long time ago she had someone work with her on her PTSD but no longer does, but I'll let her know of the advice, thanks!

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6810
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: My girlfriend is afraid of masturbating

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:54 am

You're welcome! I hope some of it proves helpful.


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