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- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2022 7:20 pm
- Age: 14
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity and orientation: straight
- Location: New York
I found porn when I was around 11. And at first it was just normal vanilla sex. I cannot remember how it came to be, but I started watching very VERY hardcore bdsm stuff. I would watch porn all the time.
I stopped though, I can't remember why.
Flash-forward to now, I watched bdsm-porn throughout the years between ages 11-14. But I can't stop watching bdsm porn. Nothing else turns me on. And it scares me. I know my brain isn't developed and I'm sure watching bdsm porn long term isn't the best for a growing persons mental health.
I just need someone to tell me if I should stop and cut all pornography out of my life until i'm older. I'm so worried that the fact that i am into bondage/submissiveness is because of watching porn. and that means that the porn screwed me up.
so.. am I screwed up and should i stop watching porn?
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 264
- Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
- Age: 30
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual
- Location: American Midwest
Hey sebby -- the short answer is no, of course not. I think it's great that you're thinking critically about this topic, but I don't think you need to worry as much. Pornography, both in general and hardcore BDSM stuff you're describing, cannot cause the "damage" you're concerned about all by itself. Many people enjoy this kind of porn and have healthy relationships with it. One of the most important things to remember is that porn created for entertainment purposes and is not intended to be educational "how-to" material. Unfortunately, a lot of people learn about sex from pornography - this is especially true for young people. Learning from what is essentially an exaggerated fantasy scenario that does not always show a negotiation of boundaries between partners, active consent, etc is what could cause unrealistic, potentially harmful expectations of yourself and others. Is there a recent behavior or line of thinking you've had that you're concerned was specifically influenced by you watching/enjoying BDSM porn?
I think reading Making Sense of Sexual Media
will be extremely helpful for you in understanding how to approach porn - let me know if that's helpful!