Sam W wrote:Hi belled,
People can find all sorts of things, including gaining weight or being on the bigger end of sizes, attractive. And that can include finding those traits attractive in themselves as well as other people. So there's nothing inherently weird about what you're describing. Too, there are plenty of people out there who have sexual preferences that tie into things like food or eating.
You can, of course, do what you want with your own body. But I'd caution against trying to gain 10-20 more pounds, if only because making radical changes to our bodies or diets (whether that's to gain weight or to lose it) can have unanticipated consequences for our health. That's why you'll see us recommending that anyone who wants to pursue a major change in their diet or body consult with a healthcare provider before embarking on it.
In terms of dealing with the relationship between sexuality and body image, are there certain elements of that relationship you want advice on or want to explore?
Hi! Thank you so much for the quick reply! Your tips make me feel a lot better. I’m going to follow your advice and not try changing my weight on purpose. I didn’t really think about the potential health side effects tbh. I’ve been feeling super weird lately about my body, but your response is really comforting.
Bottom line, I think I’m trying to figure out how my perspective on my body changed so much in a short period of time. One day, I hated my body because I had gained a few pounds. Then a week later, I couldn’t stop touching my stomach and fantasizing about being fat. I just feel weird because it’s like my brain just switched from one extreme to the other.
I guess I’m just looking for some advice on how to handle this whole situation before it turns into an obsession or something. I just feel really overwhelmed by all these thoughts and feelings that are constantly bombarding me. Lately, I feel like I’m always horny and there’s no way to calm myself down. I’ve tried masturbating, but I’m honestly not a fan (I’m a bit of a germaphobe and I don’t like getting my hands dirty). I tried looking at pictures of hot women (I don’t feel comfortable looking for porn, so I usually look up pictures of women in bikinis and lingerie), but they only get me more worked up. I’ve thought about getting a toy to help, but I still live with my mom and I don’t want to risk having her find it.
I’ve found a few new ways to feel satisfied, but I’m not sure if they’re maladaptive. When I first started rubbing my stomach, it felt really calming. But now I feel like I can’t stop doing it. I find myself just grabbing at my tummy all day long. I also find myself overeating lately. Occasionally, I eat an extra helping at dinner, then sit in bed in my underwear and put my hands on my full belly. I don’t think it counts as binge eating because 1) I’m fully conscious and in control of what I’m doing and 2) it’s not like I’m eating enough for five people or anything. But I know it’s slowly making me gain weight, and eventually I won’t be able to keep doing it without my family realizing that something is going on. And I don’t want it to keep developing into an obsession that takes over my life.
Basically, I’m having trouble focusing on my everyday life because I feel like one big walking hormone. So I guess my bigger question is “How do I cool off in a healthy way so I can get back to my regular life?”
Thanks again for all your help.