i am 15 and recently i bought a clitoral vibrator, here in italy sometimes they sell those in automatic machines along with condoms.
i've been using it when my family is asleep, or when my brother is out of our shared room and my parents are elsewhere.
it's my first time with a real toy since i've been doing it with my hand since i was about 11, and with the shower since last year.
there have been two instances when i fear my catholic mother has found my toy. one is when i hid it under my pillow and the next morning it was on the floor next to my bed (but another hypothesis is it could have rolled out as i moved during the night).
the other one was this afternoon when i opened the drawer where it usually is and when i went to turn it on, the battery was not in there. i don't remember the last time when i took out the battery, though i do it sometimes. so i don't know if my mum took it out or i did without remembering.
but if she knows, i'm scared of what she thinks of it. i never mentioned to her my self-pleasuring habits, and I've always been scared of what would happen and how she would react if she knew. as i have mentioned before, she's catholic. but once i found a vibrator of hers when i was looking for a hair cream she said was in her room. i have not commented on hers. and if she found it she hasn't said anything... yet. if she brings it up later like "mcjupiter, we have to talk. i found..." i wouldn't know what to do and i'm scared that she will ground me and check my social medias and web history.
basically i feel like i am unsafe and almost in danger; and this prospect makes me anxious. help me please!!