i have quite a few problems with my behaviour. i always tend to make myself the victim in everything, get always offended and feel called into question even when there's nothing to do with me.
also sometimes i say things and i mean them neutrally or even jokingly but they offend people.
for example today in class we were discussing bathroom turns and how many people had gone out while the teachers weren't in and i said "well may i please go to the bathroom, i need it seriously" (my intention was not to imply that the others didn't "need it seriously".) and obviously they got mad.
and then, i said "i'll go when (x classmate name i got wrong) returns." so someone said "haha who's x"
and then the straw that broke the camel's back is when i said "now you tease me even for this"
maybe in my language it sounds ruder than in english, but i said it istintively and i didn't mean to imply that there have been previous instances of them teasing me. but somehow it came across as that and a good half of the hour was spent discussing (angrily) about this wrong behaviour of mine.
i said i know i have a victim complex, one of the people said "yeah we figured" and at that moment i got up cos i was feeling uncomfortable in my bladder and still hadn't gone to the toilet. i went a few moments later.
then later this got briefly brought up and i was "accused" of getting up because i got mad at the person saying everyone was aware of my victim complex. i said "i didn't get up for that" and heard a swarm of sarcastic "nooooooo"s.
they say this behaviour of mine could get them in trouble cos i accuse them of doing things they didn't.
and this isn't the first time. this had even worse consequences last year, and i admit i have not just crossed the line, but i did a whole dance number on it.
tomorrow we will discuss this with a teacher and i am scared. this teacher has noticed previous issues i had and called my parents once, they got quite disappointed and decided to call a therapist on me, which i had to go to until a year ago.
now i need help again cos there are so many issues i have, not just this victim complex and social ineptness, but many other things.
i was thinking of telling them i need a therapist but i don't know if i'll have to wait to see tomorrow what happens. i hate to think that i made an entire class mad at me, but you can't get along with everybody, can't you?