I didn't chime in on this for a while, and I'll say a little about why. It's also part of what I think I can offer here for you, thewrit3r, but also anyone else in this thread or otherwise feeling this way.
I GET IT.
Oh boy, do I get it. When Warren dropped out, after I spent several days scooping my guts off the floor (just like I spent months doing after 2016) I decided that I was done with actively participating in this presidential primary, and probably this election, full-stop, until it's time to vote. That was an epically unusual and very difficult choice for me to make, because I have literally been involved in politics -- including electoral politics -- very actively since I was a child in the 70s. Once she did, there wasn't anyone left for me that I felt comfortable actively supporting (yes, including Sanders before he also dropped out, which I'm sorry to say to those who didn't want that, he has: his name remains on the primary ballot, but he did drop out weeks ago now and has endorsed Biden), and that's an epic understatement.
Right now, you're right: we are left with voting between two men, one of whom is basically giant evil and has a sea scroll's worth of women he has violated and abused (including a colleague of mine, no less). The other isn't that, but has a long history of boundary violations, again with women (he also hasn't been great with people with disability), and now one open report of outright sexual assault. You're right that these are both bad choices, you're right that it is beyond the pale this is the choice we're all faced with, especially those of us who are survivors.
When I think back to my whole voting history in this country, and to what I know about abuse and assault statistics, especially with perpetrators who have political power, I think it's probably fair to say that it's been rare that for any given election I've voted in, it's pretty likely that at least one person I have voted for on the whole of a ballot (as in, not just a POTUS vote) probably has engaged in abuse.
That, too, is garbage and isn't a situation we should find ourselves in. Any history of abuse or assault should be disqualifying. Period.
But, of course, it's not. That's extra unsurprising in a nation founded through colonialism and all it involves, usually very much including sexual assault. That's certainly a big part of the political history of this nation, all the way back to the first colonizers here.
So, what can we do?
I decided that the best thing I could do here for myself was to just exempt myself from participating any further in the primary or any further in the POTUS part of this election, save voting when it's time. And yep, when it's time, if these are the only two choices I have to make, I will vote for Biden, even though I really don't want to. I just don't see any other option that can help change the situation for, for instance, everyone still in ICE detention, or for refugees who need a safe place to go, or for maintaining reproductive rights or any number of vital things that save lives and the quality of those lives. I feel like the choice is literal fascist who is absolutely a serial rapist or shitty dude who is a serial boundary violator and maybe also a rapist, and while that's a crummy choice, I know one of those choices is objectively better than the other, particularly with what the larger outcomes are.
I don't have a horse in this race, and I haven't since Warren -- and several others before her -- dropped out. And I don't want to, and I know it's not good for me to try and defend people who are abusive, so I'm not going to do that. I'm also not going to argue or otherwise engage with people who have treated me poorly politically in the past about any of this (particularly since that's usually been around hidden or unacknowledged sexism and that's the primary reason we find ourselves here).
I'm also just done being forced to vote for men, period -- and usually mediocre white men, at that, when highly qualified women as well as men of color were running -- but I will deal with that after this election.
What I decided I'm going to do instead is to actively support people -- particularly women and BIPOC -- running down ticket, particularly in races I care about where a) there is actually a choice for a fully solid human involved, and b) those tickets really matter. Like Gina Ortiz Jones in TX, Sarah McBride in DE or Amy McGrath running to unseat Mitch McConnell (!), for instance: I've contributed to her campaign and will likely make phone calls or texts for her, too (I'm not in KY, so door-knocking is out).
None of that is to say that's what you or anyone else has to do. If you (any of you) just can't bring yourself to vote for either of these men, period, I understand and I support you. Even though writing someone in on this ticket would be symbolic and a non-vote, if that's what you feel you need to do, I get that, too. I just put all my stuff up here in the event it's helpful and to be in solidarity with you in expressing that this is a bullshit, horrible choice.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead