(contains description of incidents that can be triggering)
Today I heard my mother talking to her sister about kids masturbating and implying that it is a very bad thing for kids to do. This made me remember two incidents from when I was 4-6 years old, when I received unfair consequences for masturbating (once I was spanked and once I was told I wouldn't get dinner that night, even though I got it eventually). This made me angry today, and I decided to get help here. I also worry about my parents' attitudes toward sex today, which is a major issue for me even without my anger at them for treating me like that when I was small. I have these questions.
1. I think about these childhood incidents only sometimes, when paired with thinking about my parents' other attitudes that I hate. Also, I don't think they affect . Still, do you think they must be affecting me somehow? I feel like crying right now, thinking about that little girl who was hit and who thought she wouldn't get food, even though I don't remember my emotional reactions at that time to the incidents. Basically: I realize that these were major incidents. I want to know how to think about them now.
2. I want to have a deep conversation with myself to get to the bottom of how I feel about these incidents. I want to find their place in my life. How do I go about that?