I don't know how to talk about it

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
Marvel1999
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I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

i'm really not sure how to talk about it
nicole
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by nicole »

Hi Marvel1999, welcome to the boards. I want to let you know that we are here to listen and provide resources whenever you are ready to share your experiences. I don't want to get into asking any questions about your situation as I don't want to overstep any boundaries or sensitivities that you might have. I do want to ask, are you unsure of how to talk about abuse or assault to us? Family? Friends? A medical professional? Authorities? If you need any guidance on specific terminology, emotions, or circumstances that might help you explain your situation to us or anyone else, I will link an article here that could help you out: Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault. Please let me know if this helps, we are here for you!
Marvel1999
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: dunno
Location: uk

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

I don't know how to talk to anyone about it, I get scared. I have autism and I have verbal communication deficits because of that, I can speak but I have a very hard time doing so I am also an AAC user, it can be super hard to communicate all and it's even harder when its about abuse
nicole
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 163
Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2022 11:18 am
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: I have a guinea pig
Primary language: ENG, ESP, RUS
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: Queer
Location: Baltimore, MD-Washington D.C.

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by nicole »

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I reached out to our other staff members as they might have more experience with your situation. I understand what it is like to be neurodivergent and having difficulties speaking up, but I am not an AAC user. This situation seems incredibly frustrating. With that being said, I am going to try my best to find a staff member that can work on this with you.
Marvel1999
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: dunno
Location: uk

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

thank you
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Heather »

Hey there, Marvel.

The good news about this place is that you get to take as long as you want in conversations here, and also write in whatever size chunks work best for you, without any need for verbal communication at all. We aren't in any hurry, and can even stretch conversations here over weeks or months (and sometimes have for years with some users!). We'll do our best to have this conversation in whatever way works best for you. So, how about you start here with us in the boards?

If that sounds good to you, is there something you'd like to start with?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Marvel1999
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: dunno
Location: uk

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

are you sure people will believe me? a lot of people don't take me seriously when I try to communicate, I get treated like a child a lot, and people treat me like I'm stupid because I don't always communicate in the same ways as they do
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9050
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
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Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
Primary language: english
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Sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Heather »

We are very much a survivor-first organization and service. We're founded and led by an abuse survivor (that's me), if that helps to know, too. We are also founded and led by someone with disabilities, and what abilities someone does or doesn't have, and how a person communicates aren't things that influence if we take someone seriously or treat them with respect.

If there's anything else you need in order to feel safe talking with us, I'm happy to work that out with you first.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Marvel1999
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: dunno
Location: uk

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

I really want to talk about it, just scary
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9050
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 52
Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Heather »

I understand. Maybe you can try just writing a little of what you want to talk about in a post draft first. If you decide you don't feel safe enough here, or yet, you are under no obligation to hit post. <3
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Marvel1999
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2022 11:38 am
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: nothing
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: dunno
Location: uk

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Marvel1999 »

i can do that, will the chat be open today?
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9050
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 52
Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I don't know how to talk about it

Unread post by Heather »

It will, at 2 PST.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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