Questioning myself :(

Questions and discussion about your sexuality and how it's a part of who you are as a person.
Epiphanyxx
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2023 1:38 pm
Age: 16
Awesomeness Quotient: I guess editing
Primary language: Mostly English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Straight but at the same time questioning
Location: Philippines

Questioning myself :(

Unread post by Epiphanyxx »

Hello, I made this acc and post since I saw this website and I thought to make an acc and this first post of mine. (Sorry for bad writing rn since I’m writing this really late hahshshsh)

I don’t know what I am and idk if I’m just overthinking about this or not. :(

I told my brother randomly today that I like the idea of romance and okay with romance films or shows (except if it has sex scenes cause it’s quite awkward for me) but I don’t wanna like the idea of myself dating and being in a relationship, then he told me I’m aro but I don’t know.

And a few times I said somethings to him that made him think I’m bi but I also don’t know about that

I only had 3 male crushes throughout in my elementary days and the last one was in the 3rd grade but that didn’t last long and stopped having irl crushes and til now, I’ve never had one. The only recent ones is just celebs but mostly male for now. But from what I remember back when I was 13 I was watching a film and when I saw the main character for the first time I felt something that I usually felt when it comes to seeing my other male celeb crushes for the first time but I brushed it off thinking that was nothing. Another thing is whenever I think of being with a woman also when I grow older, I thought in my mind that i find it okay, I don’t have a problem with it and found it cute which made me realize am I really straight? But Even do I like the idea of romance, I’m quite okay with watching romance films or shows, and cool with being a with a woman also, at the same time for now (i guess) I’m not a fond of imagining myself in being a relationship and like I’m literally okay with being single too. Sometimes I don’t understand dating or being in a relationship. :?
Amanda B
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 132
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2022 10:59 am
Age: 27
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm an excellent cook!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: still figuring it out
Location: Northeast, U.S.

Re: Questioning myself :(

Unread post by Amanda B »

Hi there Epiphanyxx!

What I'm hearing is that you're taking some time to think deeply about your desires and identity, which is a great thing. The relationship we have with ourselves is one of the most important to nurture, and it sounds like you're giving yourself space to really get to know yourself.

It's totally okay to feel confused about attraction and desire. These things can also evolve throughout your life. The crushes you have in the future may feel different than the crushes you've had before. What's important is ensuring you're making decisions that feel good. A great way to make sure you're engaging in fulfilling relationships is to clarify what you're interested in; it sounds like you're already investigating this!

I can understand the desire to put a label on your attractions. Labels can help us feel secure and empowered in our identity. That said, there's no need to rush to find a label that fits you best. It sounds like you're content being single, while still being open to relationships with all sorts of people. My best advice would be to embrace this time of exploration! How does all of this sound?
Prongsantler
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2023 6:41 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I read a lot I guess
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Questioning- leaning towards aroace spectrum
Location: England

Re: Questioning myself :(

Unread post by Prongsantler »

Hey,
I’ve also be questioning myself a lot lately. I’ve been confused in a similar way to you I think. My sibling always tells me that I’m aroace when I talk about the way I feel. I’m not sure if I fit that label to be honest, very similarly to you I don’t find myself crushing either except fictional characters and celebs. But I’m trying not to rush to put a label on because it isn’t necessary but idk I think maybe it would be comforting to know I’m not alone in these feelings.
But it’s okay to be unsure about yourself and your preferences. I mean life is confusing enough right?
I don’t know if this will be any comfort to you but your message made me feel a little better about not knowing because I’m not alone in it!
Thank you for that x
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