This is a really long post, by the way.
I've identified as straight all of my life, but I started seriously reconsidering a label for my sexuality about a year ago. It all started when I was single after my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. That was when I realized I was genderfluid as well. I was hanging out with this friend of mine, a girl (let's call her girl 1 to avoid confusion), and I sometimes wondered if I liked her. Because one time she made a joke about wanting to kiss me and it really made me think. I had a dream, too, where a girl who looked like my other friend (who is a lesbian - girl 2) was into me.
What's more, is that I keep thinking about a third girl (girl 3) who I used to follow around in elementary and middle school. I always wanted to do everything she did, and I wanted to be her best friend. Long story short, she turned out to be mean, and never really spoke to me after 7th grade, even though we saw each other a few times. But now that I've recognized what it feels like to have a crush (because I've seriously crushed on like, five or six guys) I wonder if I had crushes on either girl 1 or girl 3, or possibly both.
So what made me want to write this, is another thing. I was playing this game (through text) with my boyfriend and two female friends of mine (different girls, who I've also had dreams about having crushes on, but in real life I don't think I have much attraction to either of them that isn't platonic). Basically my boyfriend would send pictures of comic book characters and we'd say how much it'd take to sleep with them. (My boyfriend is really serious about me, and I'm serious about him, so there's not really anything about playing this game with him that bothers me. Also we've talked and we're not really ready for sex - though we're interested in it. The game is really lighthearted.) But some of the characters were female - like really, really hot girls from DC and Marvel. Sure, there were guys too, but mostly girls. It made me feel weird that I really liked the looks of some of these girls. Also, Loki was an option too, and the fact that he's genderfluid makes me more attracted to that character in a way I can't explain.
So I feel like it's fair to say I am not exactly only attracted to guys. (I know I'm genderfluid so I guess androsexual fits better than straight for me, or queer also works.) But I don't necessarily think I'm bisexual either. Because I know that if my boyfriend were to transition (which I don't ever think he will but hypothetically) into a woman or a nonbinary gender, I would still feel the exact same way about him. So perhaps pansexual is a word to describe my sexuality? Or polysexual? To be honest I'm not really sure what the difference between poly and pan is. I feel like I should know since I'm part of the LGBTQ+ community and also an ally...
Last questions: Are there any words that are like pansexual, but also include the fluctuation in attraction to different genders? Like, say someone likes guys primarily, but at certain points in time feels a stronger attraction to other genders. Or maybe my crushes on girls was a phase when I was younger? I know I was definitely very agender/gender neutral at that time, but now I'm very female... I definitely have phases like that.
Please advise... that would be great.