I want to start this by saying I understand that labels aren't strictly necessary, but I like having them, I like being able to categorise myself properly.
I'm AFAB trans masc/gender fluid (pre-transition but also unlikely to ever really do anything drastic like hormones or surgery, at least if my feelings stay similar to how they are now).
Recently, I think I've found I'm attracted to a friend of mine, who I can't talk to due to COVID/her not using any social media.
She's AFAB demi-girl (although she only brought it up in passing so I'm not 100% all the things that means for her)
she also describes herself as a lesbian (but has had crushes on fictional boys, but I heard this is a common lesbian experience)
For a while, I liked saying I was aromantic, because in general, I just don't really get feelings for anyone. Even my friend, I've liked her for a while and I want to do stuff like kiss and touch and go on dates with her, and they feel solid, but not in the way most people describe crushes as being intense and short.
Though I suppose that could be just because I'm young (also I once heard somewhere that some autistic people take longer to start feeling this stuff, which is frustrating)
But if I'm attracted to someone that label can't apply, I suppose there's demi/grey aros, but that's usually paired with another identity like het/bi/gay.
The thing is, I don't feel enough like a girl to think of myself as a lesbian (also I don't like the idea that a trans man is some kind of confused butch lesbian, an identity I can't relate to, even ones who go on testosterone or use he/him pronouns), but I can't think of it as straight/hetero either. I can't think of myself as attracted to men/women/non-binary people. Just as someone attracted to this person specifically
The closest labels I can think of are 'questioning' (which I feel misses the point because I'm looking for a more definitive one, at least to tide me over to the next chapter of whatever the hell is going on) or queer (which is okay, but I feel is too general and not very versatile as many allies don't fully understand it and some LGBT+ people don't really see it as anything other than a slur, so not a great basket for all my eggs)
TL;DR I was wondering if anyone had some suggestions for a label I could use