Sexuality With Religious Matters

Questions and discussion about your sexuality and how it's a part of who you are as a person.
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Sexuality With Religious Matters

Unread postby Sunny_Side_Up » Fri Jul 03, 2020 9:30 am

So this might be a bit long but I honestly need some help. I’m 13 turning 14 in a month. I grew up Roman Catholic meaning I can’t be anything but a straight young lady. I’ve heard thinks such as you’ll go to hell if you like the same sex and many other sayings that are quite similar. Now one of my number one fears are dying and going to hell. But I’ve begun to realize as I scroll through Instagram or look at a magazine I’ll come across an image of a women and say to myself, “0h, she’s really hot/cute/sexy.” And then I’m like wait!?!?!? Did I just think that???? About a women???? And it’s basically the same as if I’m looking at a guy. So I’m getting some bisexual/pansexual vibes. And I’m really scared because I was always taught man was made for women, women was made for man. I don’t want to go to hell but I think I’m at least bisexual. Or is it normal to be straight and still find girls sexually appealing? I have no idea. I’m scared and believe in Heaven. I’ve heard that your not going to be able to got to Heaven as long as your not straight so I’m so, so scared. Please help me. I’m miserable.

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Re: Sexuality With Religious Matters

Unread postby Sam W » Fri Jul 03, 2020 9:52 am

Hi Sunny_Side_Up,

I'm so sorry that you're finding yourself in a position where you're afraid that your sexual orientation means you can't live according to your faith, or that it puts your soul in jeopardy. Before we do anything else, I want to give you this resource: Queer Grace is a site by and for LGBTQA folks who are also Christian, and does a really good job of offering alternative interpretations of scripture that might be really helpful to you right now.

Too, I want to offer you something queer and trans Christians I know have said. That is, that their sexual orientation and/or their gender identity is part of how the divine made them. Does that make sense?

As to your questions about your orientation, how (or if) you choose to label it is up to you. If you're noticing you feel attraction to more than one gender, then that is often an indicator that you might be bi, pan, or some other form of queer. I think this article might be really helpful as a starting place, especially the section about questions that can help you sort through your orientation: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone

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Re: Sexuality With Religious Matters

Unread postby Vermillion » Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:03 pm

Hi! I'm so sorry to hear they you're struggling with religion and sexuality. I also grew up roman catholic, so i can totally empathize with your situation. Being very connected to your religion makes going "against" it very hard. However on that end there's a lot of misinterpretation and stigma around homosexuality in the bible, as Sam's links pointed out. Regardless, i know the biggest teaching of churches is that god loves everyone. God loves you no matter what, and he wouldn't have made you bi/pan if he had a problem with it. This isn't something you can control, and as long as we're good people, i don't think god cares if we like men or women or anyone in between. Your relationship with god is between you and him, so don't worry about what members of your community think. That being said, take some time to figure yourself out, maybe pray about it if that would help, and remember that no matter what you're loved, especially by god.

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