i'm apart of a plural system and have quite a few other headmates. while we aren't the same person, we definitely do feel connected, and we really do embody the whole 'sharing a brain' phrase, because we aren't as separate as other systems may be. we share the same core beliefs and tend to have very similar thoughts and personalities.
our host, lets call him R, has recently decided to identify as a gay lesbian. there's a lot of reasons for this: he is genderfluid/multigender and is both a guy and also sort of a girl, so the label just feels right and comfortable for him. because of our past, and our current community, R is quite attached to the gay man label, even though he doesn't describe himself as being a man or male. he has always loved men and described his sexuality as just being gay, but in the past few years, R has noticed that sometimes he does have attraction to women. for a while, he felt like he was faking it, but eventually he came to terms with it. other labels like bi, pan, omni, etc didn't feel right to R, and didn't really describe what he was feeling. we found people who were similar, who described themselves as gay pansexuals, bisexual lesbians, etc because of one reason or another. it helped R, and frankly all of us in the system, feel much better about ourselves because we weren't alone in having 'contradictory labels'.
another big reason R decided to use the gay lesbian label was because our system has grown to have more members who are attracted to women. we used to have an overwhelming amount of people who weren't interested in women, but now we've grown to have more people who do like women. R in particular feels very connected to everyone in the system, and so he feels a lot of the 'residue' from when people fronted last and such. he has had interest in women before, but his feelings have definitely been amplified/increased now that we have more people attracted to women in our system (most of whom are sapphic).
we're still insecure about it, as we have other people in our system who use similar 'contradictory labels', and it's been hard on us (especially during pride month) to see a bunch of people online wish death upon m-spec lesbians/gays or anyone who uses sexuality labels 'incorrectly', even though they say they are 'inclusive'. we all feel very connected to one another, and that includes our sexualities, and it just sucks to have to see people commenting 'kys' on posts about m-spec lesbian/gay pride.
i don't really know what i want in a response to this. i guess i just wanted to say how much it just sucks to know that the queer community keep fighting about who gets to what label and other stupid things that don't really matter. i just wish it wasn't like this and that i don't have to be afraid to say im XYZ no matter how 'weird' it may be.