I need help with my sexuality

Questions and discussion about your sexuality and how it's a part of who you are as a person.
Turtleddragon7
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2022 12:32 pm
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: I am an artist
Primary language: English/German
Pronouns: She/They
Sexual identity and orientation: Aroace and confused
Location: Germany Munich

I need help with my sexuality

Unread post by Turtleddragon7 »

Hellođź‘‹
I am a minor and have changed my mind about my sexuality often since I was 13.
It’s kind of complicated but I will start
I believe to be an aroace lesbian but I am not complete sure
Some people would probably say that it’s dumb that I say that I am ace even tho I am still a minor but it just depends on people
I dislike physical touch and am grossed out by the idea of sex
Aro:
I have never really had a crush on anyone
I once liked a guy but I guess I just liked the way he looked like plus we were seven
The second guy I have crushed on was my childhood bestfriend but I realised I just liked the attention I was getting from him in like a sibling form
Basically I just saw him like my brother because he is older then me and literally like a genderbend version of me fr we have the same personality
And I know its weird that I am probably a lesbian but have never had a crush on a girl but let me explain
I grew up in a Balkan country and let me tell you people there are very homophobic so yea I always gaslighted myself into thinking I am not lesbian lol
So when I was in Kinder Garten I kind of once made out with a guy cuz we were curious and didn’t know what we were doing but I didn’t like it really and the same thing with a girl in first grade but I liked it that’s why I secretly thought I was a lesbian till 5th grade a little bit after 6th grade covid started and I started being on social media and got to know more about lgbtq+ and I related to lots of things I once thought I were bi once pan once omni demigirl literally almost everything possible ,one thing I have been sure of for 2 years now is ,that I am ace, I recently realised I am probably also aro because I dislike physical touch from anyone but I still would like to be in a relation ship just without kissing or sex and I don’t really know about hugging but kissing probably a few times but I can only imagine it if I love the person to much I can never imagine myself touching or kissing anyone that I don’t really like I hope someone gets what I mean and I can not imagine myself being with a guy anymore
Also what I mean is that I could never just randomly kiss anyone it would take probably years of me developing feelings for a person
I am saying anymore because till last year I found a few guy hot but I can’t say that anymore and also I have felt very uncomfortable around guys since long time, just not my old bff,they are just creepy to me lol
I am confused because I my dreams are often about the future and I saw two flags
One ace and one omni
But I don’t indenture as omni because I can’t even imagine myself with anyone else then a girl really and forgot to mention that the only guys I have found attractive were more of the feminine type
So i just wanted to know what you think about this ? do you think I am lesbian or just confused or am I even aro or can I even be aroace lesbian?
Mo
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 2256
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him, they/them
Sexual identity and orientation: queer/bisexual

Re: I need help with my sexuality

Unread post by Mo »

Hi there, Turtleddragon7, and welcome to Scarleteen.

We can't really tell you whether you're a lesbian or not; that's not something anyone can determine for someone else. What I'm hearing you say is that aroace lesbian sounds like the best or closest way to describe how you're feeling right now (correct me if I'm wrong!), and if that's the case, it's fine to use those words for yourself. You can definitely be an aroace lesbian!
One thing that might be helpful to keep in mind is that even if any of these aspects of your identity change in the future, it doesn't mean how you feel now isn't real. Many people find that some aspects of their sexuality are somewhat fluid or changeable over time, and that's really normal. But whatever you're feeling in the moment is true for you now, and no future change can invalidate that. Does that make sense?
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