There's nothing wrong or weird with anyone, of any age, wanting intimacy and companionship, including sexual relationships that include emotional intimacy. For the vast majority of people, this is just part of the human condition.
I totally feel you with feeling at 15, with bad luck with relationships, the whole thing must be hopeless. I remember feeling so exactly just that way. It's rough and it can sure feel scary. But the good news is is that in the grand scheme of things, you really do have a whole life ahead of you and it's also really common for people to be having a hard time with these kinds of relationships when everyone is brand new to all of it. Unfortunately, it's easy to suck at things when we and everyone around us doesn't have any real practice yet. It really will get better than this, I absolutely promise.
Obviously, at this particular moment in history, looking for new relationships is a bit tricky in some ways, but it might actually be a little easier in others. Are you feeling like you want to start looking for this kind of relationship, or, for right now, do you just want to take some time to get okay with wanting one?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead