CW: mentions of past sexual assaults/abuse/r•pe, kink. Also, he/him please!
I'm gonna start by saying I'm a complete virgin, if you don't count rape as the stealing of one's v card. I feel the need to tell y'all this because I am speaking from the perspective of someone with zero experience and I'd like to know a bit before I get started?
So, in my fantasies, there's always the element of constantly checking in for consent, even (especially) in moments where it would be completely awkward. It doesn't matter what is happening, even in fantasies where the lack of consent is kinda the point, one of us asks "Hey? Y'all good babe?" (usually way more eloquently, but you get the point.)
What I'm wondering is this... Annoying? Or weird? I feel like being on the receiving end of this would be awkward, even though I know I'd probably need it and would otherwise dissociate or be too scared to say no. And even if it is completely needed, how the hell would I bring that up to a future partner? "Hey, I was mf-in' yeeted when I was like six and now I want you to ask me if I'm doing fine like literally every fifteen seconds, and I'll probably do the same to you." Like?? I can barely talk to my therapist in a serious manner, let alone someone who isn't legally required to keep my information private.
Do people who don't have issues with saying no even think about this too much beyond the obligatory asking for consent in the first place thing? I don't want to make a partner feel like they might hurt me or feel guilty if they want to try anything. Ugh. This don't feel cute, sis.