Sexual Inexperience

[Laima]

Hello Everyone!

So, I turned 18 a few months ago, and I don't have a lot of...ummm...experience with sex and relationships. Although I would like to have a relationship one day, the opportunity never really presented itself. But I notice that for some, being sexually inexperienced can be a really big deal! And I don't understand why this is, because there is so more to a person than their sexual history.

So, is there anyone else my age or older who is also inexperienced with sex/relationships?

Have you ever felt shamed for your lack of experience, or pressured to get into a relationship?

Why do you think there is shame/embarrassment associated with inexperience in sex/relationships?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[Sam W]

Hi Laima,

To your third question, I think a big part of it is that a lot of cultural images tell a very narrow story about how relationships are "supposed" to go. But those images don't reflect the reality of sex and dating for most people. What those images do accomplish is making it appear as though the story they tell is a representation of what's "normal" so people end up feeling shame if their life doesn't match the life they see in their cultural stories.

[Laima]

Hey Sam,

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Though, it's actually pretty sad in a way. Having diversity in relationships should make things interesting not shameful!