Hi there BuddyBoi21, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with self love, and healing from this past relationship experiences. These are really big and interconnected things that many people struggle with, and you have articulated how these take form for yourself really well. It's a big first step to be able to recognise the way that things in your life affect each other so clearly. It can be also helpful to remember/reflect on the fact that what we decide is right for "right now" (eg. whether you want to date etc.), don't need to be permanent. It is often something that we can intellectually know, but take a while to emotionally believe that just because a decision can feel "big", doesn't mean we can't change our minds if it isn't feeling right for us in the future.
I say this because it sounds like you are leaning towards wanting to try taking a break from dating a go to focus on your own feeling towards yourself, and to process the relationship that has just ended. These sound like good ideas, however consider that this doesn't mean that this needs to be framed as "I need to heal these things perfectly and love myself fully and feel no emotions or hurt from this breakup ever again before I can date again", as these are not realistic goals.
Many (I would go so far as to say most) people struggle with their feelings towards themselves, and the hurts from past relationships, so achieving any kind of "perfection" in these areas wouldn't really be possible as a human. However, this is different to needing to heal to an extent where we can feel like we are no longer in pain/distress that could cause us to have similar experiences by repeating old patterns/not being able to clearly see when things aren't going in a way that will be emotionally or physically helpful for us, if that makes sense?
The above is all a bit reflective/theoretical, but hopefully was useful to unpacking the idea a bit further and feel more confident in giving it a go?It is also worth saying that having support networks as you address these big feelings and ideas is important (whether or you do, or how explicitly you discuss these things with them). Do you have a good group of friends with whom you can feel safe, loved/supported? We can actually learn a lot from our friendships. For instance, if you can see what your friends like about you, or how you show compassion for a friend that you don't for yourself, it can be useful to use those examples to understand what is great about yourself, and some new self talk to try. I am also going to put a couple of links you might find useful here below:
This is a lot of text to read, so feel free to take this in sections, at your own pace, and if you feel comfortable share your thoughts on these here. Also if you'd be interested in any practical self compassion exercises, grounding exercises (good for calming distress and being able to observe and challenge thought patterns after), or other resources on healing through the lens of attachment theory that I've found good, let me know, I would be very happy to share them with you