My boyfriend now wants an open relationship

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Korey
not a newbie
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2021 8:45 am
Age: 16
Pronouns: she
Location: Richmond VA

My boyfriend now wants an open relationship

Unread post by Korey »

And I'm not surprised by this at all, but I don't know what to think. He is so open about having sex that I I knew he would ask me this. I am his official girlfriend, but he wants to be with others.
And what did I get myself into? But part of me finds it kind of hot. But should I put limits and boundaries on this and if so what?
Emily N
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2021 8:28 pm
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: I love to cook!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity and orientation: pansexual
Location: Boston, MA

Re: My boyfriend now wants an open relationship

Unread post by Emily N »

Hi Korey,

All of your feelings are completely valid, this is a big relationship conversation! Are there any feelings that come up now that you want to talk more about? First, and most importantly, you can take some time to think about what you want from this relationship. Are you also genuinely interested in exploring an open relationship or do you feel like you would be compromising on what you want?

If you are interested in exploring an open relationship, you are correct that communicating your boundaries is so important for open relationships so that you can reduce conflicts. These boundaries don’t have to be rigid, and can change over time depending on what is or isn’t working.

Open relationships are meant to be consensual, open, and informed. I recommend checking these articles out - Relationship Structure and Troubleshooting: Navigating Poly Relationships and A First Polyamory Guide.

It’s also okay if your feelings towards an open relationship change over time! I’m happy to talk through the options or any boundaries you might want to set!
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