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Old feelings coming up about a former crush

Posted: Sat May 08, 2021 3:38 pm
by waves15
When I was in high school, there was a girl I was friends with who I had feelings for that I kept to myself for a while before I said anything. When I did, she didn't feel those things back, and it crushed me at the time. That was maybe four years ago, we both went off to college, and we're now both graduated and back living at home for the time being. I thought I had made my peace with it long ago, but lately I've been thinking about her and feeling those feelings again. I don't know why they're coming up or what to do, and I worry about messing up our friendship. Any advice? Thank you.

Re: Old feelings coming up about a former crush

Posted: Mon May 10, 2021 8:38 am
by Sofi
Hi waves15, welcome to the boards!
It definitely seems like you still have feelings for this girl after all this time. On one hand, people can change a lot in four years, and just because we don't like someone today doesn't mean we never will. At the same time, though, you wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by bringing that up again out of the blue. If you're thinking you want to stop liking her, it would be best to get some space (not talk as often, not hang out in person if that's something you do, etc). You can also be honest to her but make sure it isn't pushy or makes her feel pressured. This way perhaps you can get closure if she doesn't feel the same way. Has she given you any cues or said anything that makes you think she might like you back? Or does she treat it as a platonic friendship? It's important you feel her vibe and reciprocate it, you know?