Old feelings coming up about a former crush

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
waves15
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 3:28 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I think I have pretty good taste in music
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity and orientation: straight
Location: Rhode Island

Old feelings coming up about a former crush

Unread post by waves15 »

When I was in high school, there was a girl I was friends with who I had feelings for that I kept to myself for a while before I said anything. When I did, she didn't feel those things back, and it crushed me at the time. That was maybe four years ago, we both went off to college, and we're now both graduated and back living at home for the time being. I thought I had made my peace with it long ago, but lately I've been thinking about her and feeling those feelings again. I don't know why they're coming up or what to do, and I worry about messing up our friendship. Any advice? Thank you.
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 84
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:23 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own nail art!
Primary language: Spanish or English
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: Queer
Location: USA

Re: Old feelings coming up about a former crush

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi waves15, welcome to the boards!
It definitely seems like you still have feelings for this girl after all this time. On one hand, people can change a lot in four years, and just because we don't like someone today doesn't mean we never will. At the same time, though, you wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by bringing that up again out of the blue. If you're thinking you want to stop liking her, it would be best to get some space (not talk as often, not hang out in person if that's something you do, etc). You can also be honest to her but make sure it isn't pushy or makes her feel pressured. This way perhaps you can get closure if she doesn't feel the same way. Has she given you any cues or said anything that makes you think she might like you back? Or does she treat it as a platonic friendship? It's important you feel her vibe and reciprocate it, you know?
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic