I'm mostly asking for the future, since pandemic restrictions mean I can't see my friend in person, let alone in one of out houses, for a while.
But I'm autistic and I usually don't like being touched (even by family) or having to ask for things/make a fuss
however, I've been reading more romantic fanfic Quality Literature and have really started wanting to try being more (non-sexually) physical with my friend.
I don't know how to ask her, we've been friends for years, but neither of us ever tried hugs/touching each other.
I'm not sure why I really want to be hugging them specifically, but it's probably because it'd be touching on my terms whereas my mum doesn't seem to understand that I'm not just being awkward/unloving/a 'typical teenager' when I don't want to hug her (and haven't since i was really little, although even then I was hit or miss on the whole thing)