Hi, this is a long reply:
I've talked to my boyfriend about my feelings this week, today actually. I was upset about how my ex-boyfriend treated me in the past (my ex was manipulative, and he made me feel like I couldn't share my feelings - luckily I feel like my current boyfriend and I have really good, open communication). I talked to my boyfriend and it was helpful talking to him today - he's really supportive and understanding about the whole toxic ex stuff. My boyfriend has said he's totally okay that I'm needy - in the sense that I constantly want to hang out with him and stuff like that - but has said, gently, that he might not always be able to keep up with it. Like, he loves me, but for example, he might be tired (because he gets really tired and needs his beauty sleep) and not want to go out one night.
I think I'm not a needy person though, and my boyfriend agrees. It's just that sometimes I go in stages of neediness. For example, my boyfriend and I were long-distancing due to covid, and now we can see each other in person, so I want to be with him as much as possible. I believe that a lot of my insecurities are mainly from my ex, who didn't give me the attention I needed. He ghosted me, actually, and cut off all contact out of the blue, after he broke up with me, and it was a horrible experience for me. But still, I hate feeling like I need to be with my current boyfriend all the time - I'm a confident, independent person. I also have limited experience in relationships, so that could be part of it as well. And I tend to overanalyze things in general, since I have a more logic-based personality. Also my boyfriend and I recently started trying out some more sexual sexual stuff - fingering, etc. - so I might be more insecure about that as well, since it's new to me. I feel like it's a bunch of stuff that I'm processing right now which is contributing to this 'neediness'.
I think our relationship is good and healthy, and I just want to make sure that I am not putting my boyfriend on a pedestal - that I am in control of my emotions and confident with the relationship, like he is. I'll check out the articles.
In short, I think because I'm seeing my boyfriend for the first time in months, processing the new sexual stuff, and having a tough week, it's all making me feel insecure. However, I do know that I tend to reach out the most and ask him out constantly, and I want to cut back on that so he has some breathing room and a chance to ask me out first.