good memories

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
juankax
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Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2021 3:01 am
Age: 40
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good memories

Unread post by juankax »

Hello Scarleteen staff!

I’ve been thinking about my ex. I don’t miss him or anything and I don’t love him or want him back. I’m in a new relationship and I’m happy. But i’ve been getting anxiety because i’m thinking about my ex. I mostly think about past memories and I feel super guilty. Or I get reminded of my ex. I don’t want this to ruin my relationship and I want to know how to let go of these memories. Thank you!
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Age: 30
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Sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: good memories

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi juankax,

If it helps to know, being reminded of an ex or having a memory about them cross your mind is super-common. After all, breaking up doesn't erase our memories, and it doesn't erase things about the relationship we enjoyed.

One thing that might help is to not dwell on the memories when they pop up. So, you notice the thought of "hearing this song makes me think of my ex," acknowledge that it's happening, and then let it go and shift your focus to other things. Does that make sense?
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