Something missing?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Susan
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 3:10 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: My face
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her, They/them
Sexual identity and orientation: Bi/Pan
Location: Ontario

Something missing?

Unread post by Susan »

Hi,

I'm hoping to get some advice with this problem/feeling I've been having. I'm 14 female with a boyfriend who lives two hours away. I really like this guy, and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes it feels like something is missing. We can't go and see each other because of the lockdown, but I miss him, which is kinda weird since I talk to him every day. I don't know whether others are feeling this way, but if there is, let me know what you did to get rid of the horrible feeling.
“I have spoken.” - Kuill, The Mandalorian
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 315
Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2020 12:23 pm
Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own nail art!
Primary language: Spanish or English
Pronouns: she/they
Sexual identity and orientation: Queer
Location: USA

Re: Something missing?

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi Susan,
Long distance relationships can be hard, especially during a pandemic, so it's understandable you feel something is missing since you can't see him. It's not the same being able to talk to them every day. Just know you're not alone in this and video calls where you do activities "together", like watch a movie or even fall asleep together on the phone, can make you feel closer and grow your intimacy. Do you feel there's something deeper going on that's giving you this feeling?
Susan
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 3:10 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: My face
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her, They/them
Sexual identity and orientation: Bi/Pan
Location: Ontario

Re: Something missing?

Unread post by Susan »

Hi,
thanks for the quick reply! I don't know if it's just the winter break when he was busy and we couldn't talk as much, or it's the loneliness of my pandemic Christmas, but it's been hard these past two weeks or so.
“I have spoken.” - Kuill, The Mandalorian
Susan
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2020 3:10 pm
Age: 15
Awesomeness Quotient: My face
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her, They/them
Sexual identity and orientation: Bi/Pan
Location: Ontario

Re: Something missing?

Unread post by Susan »

I forgot to mention that my parents don’t approve of dating at this age, so there’s a lot of things we can’t do together. Also, we've never met in person, as we first met during online classes. I don’t know if this might affect any advice, but if it does, please help.
“I have spoken.” - Kuill, The Mandalorian
Alexa
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 159
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 10:43 am
Age: 29
Awesomeness Quotient: i make the world's best pancakes!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her/ella
Sexual identity and orientation: queer, pansexual
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Something missing?

Unread post by Alexa »

Hi Susan,

I just want to reiterate that it's not weird at all to be feeling loneliness under these circumstances, despite talking to him every day. Talking to folks while knowing that you can't share physical space can be a very lonely feeling, indeed.

I agree with Sofi that finding distanced "activities" -- like watching something together, playing a game online, or doing a craft together on video chat can be helpful for making you feel more togetherness. I would also just say that, unfortunately, this feeling is normal and makes sense under the circumstances, so some of what you're going to have to do is just accept & process those feelings of distance. It's okay to feel sad or unhappy about a crappy circumstance.
Alexa K.
Scarleteen Team
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