I want to know whether she is ghosting me

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Sabine
not a newbie
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 6:27 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: The way I can really think and analyze
My primary language: English
My pronouns: She/Her
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: California, USA

I want to know whether she is ghosting me

Unread postby Sabine » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:10 pm

I’m still thinking about the woman in Northern Ireland I want to get to know more. We have been getting to know eachother for a some weeks, but she stopped messaging me and hasn’t replied since two weeks. We were planning a date on a week of my finals, Friday, we even had a time. But she had a headache and since then, hasn’t replied or received my messages. She said she was so sorry when she had to cancel and I still hope she is okay. :cry:

She was the first to match with me and we have so much in common. We would often send long messages to eachother and even videochatted one time. She loved our videochat session, immediately messaging me afterwards and I did too. For once, I can talk to someone about IDEAS, creativity and about our similar experiences, and someone understands me and not just love me. We both lived in foreign countries and don’t have a concept of our national identity. We both love our Asian influences, love studying and she even knows who Billie Ellish is.

I am so concerned that she is ghosting me, but at the same time, I am concerned about her health, as she expressed that she gets depressed during this time and she has had much work during this time. And with the lockdown in the UK, I especially fear for her mental health. :cry:

I don’t know how to express concern without being too invasive or pushy. I also want to express my desire but I don’t know if it’s right. Should I do it? Holidays are a lot for people and maybe she is busy. I don’t know how to tell if she is ghosting me or if she is thinking of me and just is busy. Either way I know that worrying is not gonna make it better nor is doing the wrong thing. I looked at a post, only answered by the staff, that was helpful and some ways, but I want to know if it could be applied to my situation since this is relatively new.

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8545
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
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My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I want to know whether she is ghosting me

Unread postby Heather » Thu Dec 24, 2020 12:46 pm

Hey, Sabine.

Just a reminder, seeing this post and your other, that Sam had asked for a temporary limit on posts like these for the time being, and a focus instead here in our interactions with you on helping you find a new therapist.

Can you honor that limit for now, please? Thanks.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Sabine
not a newbie
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue May 19, 2020 6:27 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: The way I can really think and analyze
My primary language: English
My pronouns: She/Her
My sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: California, USA

Re: I want to know whether she is ghosting me

Unread postby Sabine » Thu Dec 24, 2020 1:09 pm

Heather wrote:Hey, Sabine.

Just a reminder, seeing this post and your other, that Sam had asked for a temporary limit on posts like these for the time being, and a focus instead here in our interactions with you on helping you find a new therapist.

Can you honor that limit for now, please? Thanks.


Thanks so much. I will honor that, in fact I will not post until the New Year or when I get a therapist. It’s hard for me to get a therapist as it is. The holidays are hard and my mom is really trying hard. I’m also looking for hotlines as well, but it’s hard to connect to UK ones when I am in Austria or the US ones.

I just forgot. I’m sorry.

Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 8545
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know every word of The Lorax by heart.
My primary language: english
My pronouns: they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I want to know whether she is ghosting me

Unread postby Heather » Thu Dec 24, 2020 1:37 pm

I totally understand, and I'm sorry that the timing is so tricky. Thanks for that.

In case any of these might be helpful for you: https://www.ushinevienna.org/services-hotlines
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead


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