What do you think love is?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
girlplayer34
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What do you think love is?

Unread postby girlplayer34 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 5:09 pm

I have a question for everyone here. I've been on this website for the last three months and I wanna know something, what do you think love is? I mean we all complain about it either we get too much or too little or basically none at all, we say we want relationships yet we push people away. People spend their whole lives looking for their perfect half the ones to make them complete or whole again, whats the meaning of love? sometimes I feel like love was made up so we wouldn't feel so lonely in the world that maybe if we had someone to go through it with us it would be a little less scary. I seen people talk about their relationships and sexual encounters on this website and a lot of it is interesting but I wanna go a little deeper so I wanna know what do you truly think love is? and do you think its something to spend your life chasing after it?

Alexa
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Re: What do you think love is?

Unread postby Alexa » Sun Sep 06, 2020 7:07 am

Hey girlplayer,

This is *such* a good question. I think the answer is so individual, too -- how I experience love may feel different from how you do.

Our founder, Heather Corinna, wrote this awesome Love Letter to look at what love means. Here is a great excerpt from that letter:
If you're asking me for a basic definition, I resonate with the way bell hooks talks about love. When asked to define it simply, she said that, "Love is a combination of six ingredients: care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust." It may be obvious (which may be why she didn't say it) but to her list I'd add connectivity: I'd say love is about connecting and being connected to ourselves, to who we love, to everything. There's an energy to being deeply connected that once you feel, you'll recognize ever after.

I also like something Thich Nhat Hanh said on the topic, which is that "Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish. If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself - if you are not capable of taking care of yourself, of nourishing yourself, of protecting yourself - it is very difficult to take care of another person...to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people. Love is a practice. Love is truly a practice."


They also talk a bit about the differences between love and being in love:
When people talk about being in love, they're usually talking about a strong feeling of connection to someone else, a passion, a desire for love; about feelings which may become love or are part of the kind of love we feel, rather than love itself. Being in love is something that can cultivate, feed or water love, but isn't love itself.


Wanna give it a read and let us know what thoughts it brings up for you?
Alexa K.
Scarleteen Team


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