Sisters before misters...?

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
Hel
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Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:19 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I play D&D!
My primary language: English
My pronouns: She/her/hers
My sexual identity and orientation: Heteroflexible
Location: Austria

Sisters before misters...?

Unread postby Hel » Sat Sep 05, 2020 1:02 pm

At my new school, I just met this great guy who is totally nerdy and my type. He's stared at me a lot, and looks deep into my eyes when talking, so I feel like he might be interested. (He leans towards me a lot, too. He also hints about romance in a very nerdy way.) I'm already involved in several groups and clubs that he is part of.

The problem is, I just found out that a girl I also just met is interested in the same guy. And even worse, I invited the girl to our D&D group, which starts tomorrow, because I didn't know she liked the guy. The girl is really nice, and I can see myself being friends with her. But I like the guy more! I haven't liked anyone this much since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, and I am craving a relationship with this new guy.

I am about 80-90% sure this guy is into me, and I really like him. But I don't want there to be issues with the girl, my new friend, either. The relationship with the guy seems more important at the moment, especially because I have already met a ton of new people.

Please, someone help me out here! I really want to be with this guy, more than I ever wanted to be with my ex-boyfriend.

girlplayer34
not a newbie
Posts: 25
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My Awesomeness Quotient: I can play basketball
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Location: New York

Re: Sisters before misters...?

Unread postby girlplayer34 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 5:25 pm

I think you should go for it if you really like him and if she's really your friend she should understand.

Alexa
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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My Awesomeness Quotient: i make the world's best pancakes!
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Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Sisters before misters...?

Unread postby Alexa » Sun Sep 06, 2020 7:30 am

Hi Hel,

It sounds like you like this guy, and also like you get along well with your new friend. I'm glad! But I'm seeing that this girl's feelings might be making you feel like you are in competition with her for his affections. Can you say a little bit more about where that competitive feeling comes from?
Alexa K.
Scarleteen Team

Hel
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:19 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I play D&D!
My primary language: English
My pronouns: She/her/hers
My sexual identity and orientation: Heteroflexible
Location: Austria

Re: Sisters before misters...?

Unread postby Hel » Tue Sep 08, 2020 12:29 pm

Long story short, the guy asked me out, and apparently has a crush on me. :) The girl is kind of weird, now that I've gotten to know her, so I probably won't be hanging out with her much more.

Mo
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1888
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/him, they/them
My sexual identity and orientation: queer/bisexual

Re: Sisters before misters...?

Unread postby Mo » Tue Sep 08, 2020 2:59 pm

I'm glad your interest in this guy seems mutual! Nice.
Of course you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be friends with or aren't comfortable around, but it sounds like you're still getting to know this girl, so you never know: she might wind up being weird in a way that still makes her a good friend, or might wind up working out well in your D&D group!


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