how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

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bikinksterboy
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how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by bikinksterboy »

I'm a legal adult, but I still live with my parents. On occasion, I've ordered "adult" items online and had them shipped to my home. This usually isn't an issue as most of my online orders tend to be more tame, but one time recently, I ordered a sex toy and my dad apparently opened the package before handing me the contents of it. For the record, he had 0 reaction one way or the other to the items themselves, but it's still embarrassing and an invasion of my privacy. Hopefully a simple conversation will be enough to fix this. I think I may have already talked to him about it? I'm honestly not sure. It was only the one time that he opened NSFW mail, but he hasn't stopped opening my packages regardless, so it's bound to happen again. Overall my dad is respectful of my boundaries and privacy, and his memory is being impacted as he gets older (my parents are both senior citizens by now, but not elderly yet), so it's entirely possible that he just doesn't think to check in with me beforehand. I really doubt this will be that complicated of a problem to solve, but I figured I'd post here just in case to get other people's thoughts.
"~Take a moment to think of just~"

~flexibility, love, and trust~"
Sam W
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi bikinksterboy,

This does sound like something a conversation would hopefully solve. Do you happen to have any idea why he's doing this?
bikinksterboy
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Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by bikinksterboy »

I think it may be just force of habit. He opens all the mail that comes through and maybe he's just not making a distinction. I really don't think there's any malice involved.
"~Take a moment to think of just~"

~flexibility, love, and trust~"
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7454
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by Sam W »

Okay, in that case maybe just asking, "hey, from now on, can you leave any packages/mail for me on my bed" is a simple starting place.
noaccount
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by noaccount »

Could you mail yourself a large-print copy of Federal Laws 18 U.S. Code 1702 "Obstruction Of Correspondence" and 18 U.S. Code 1708 "Theft or Receipt of Mail Matter Generally" under which it's a federal crime to open another person's mail, or laminate such a large-print copy and tape them up by where mail is left?
"How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this moment? With pleasure." - The Absconding Archives
bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 253
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
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Preferred pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: bisexual
Location: New York, New York

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by bikinksterboy »

I brought it up to my dad and he seemed receptive. Here's hoping it all works out!
"~Take a moment to think of just~"

~flexibility, love, and trust~"
Alexa
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Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by Alexa »

Great! Keep us posted if anything else comes up. <3
Alexa K.
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bikinksterboy
not a newbie
Posts: 253
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:32 pm
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: my willingness to try essentially anything
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity and orientation: bisexual
Location: New York, New York

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by bikinksterboy »

seems like it worked!
"~Take a moment to think of just~"

~flexibility, love, and trust~"
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7454
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
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Location: Desert

Re: how to get my dad to stop opening my mail?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hooray!
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