Hey idkanymore -- I think it's really cool that you're in touch with yourself enough to identify this situation as something that will be hard for you to navigate. Up top I wanted to just acknowledge that, everything else about the situation aside, it just down-right sucks to have a crush you can't or shouldn't act on. I'm sorry you're having to feel that right now.
It sounds you already know this would be an inappropriate relationship to have with your teacher. Beyond the age difference being illegal here in the US, there's a power imbalance between a teacher and student, even if that teacher is not treating you poorly and if you're talking like a couple of friends would. As difficult as it may be for you to ignore, I don't think acting on this is in your best interest (or your teacher's). If you're looking for advice on how to hit the breaks on it, I would start by putting up some boundaries around communication. Maybe limit your texting to only team-related stuff, or maybe consider not communicating out of school at all if it's possible. If you want to go this route, I think reviewing Be Your Own Superhero
would be helpful, just in case you find yourself in a situation where she texts you outside of those perimeters or any others you set for talking with her. If you communicate your boundaries and your teacher does not respect them, this is a very big red flag
. You also said that she has given her phone number to multiple other students for no apparent reason beyond "just to have it"- to be totally transparent, for me this is illustrating a concerning problem with her boundaries already, even if the motive was friendly.
I also want to pass on a link to Two Probably Not-So-Great Pursuits
, an advice post by Heather from a while back in which someone wrote in with a very similar situation to yours. Their advice to the reader is the same as mine is to you: don't go for it. Here's a really good bit of advice from the article that I think might be especially helpful to you:
We can just enjoy crushes for what they are without trying to make them into anything else. We can even use them to inform us about what we find attractive, and what characteristics we may be looking for when we're in the position to potentially pursue relationships with people that start off with us on similar footing -- and sound ethics -- not in funky and problematic power-imbalances like doctor-patient or teacher-student.
Does this resonate with you at all, idkanymore? I'm glad you could trust us with how you're feeling, and I hope this helped a little bit.