Scarleteen

This is kind of explicit and uncomfortable. I definitely didn’t understand what the feeling meant at the time and I definitely didn’t want to have sex, but my earliest memory at maybe three to five years old is one of arousal. Is this normal?
Throughout my childhood I remember feeling this way and I usually brought the feeling on (willingly) by imagining certain characters I created in painful situations (never /ever/ real people though, I think I should really stress. I was a very empathetic child and I didn’t like the idea of other people in pain), I know this part probably isn’t normal (also now it still kind of works this way, but I have no desire to be in a real BDSM-esc situation, I’m actually very averse to the idea), but does it have any connection to the first part? I figured it was important to mention. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone else about this but if it’s actually a normal situation I want to know.

Hi The,

Whilst adult sexuality is certainly it's own distinct experience, and something that we grow into, it's not unusual for young children to think or behave in sexual ways - masturbation for example is really common in young kids and probably the reason most people won't remember doing it is that they were told not to at some point when they were small.

Also, it's not strange or unusual to for the things you fantasise about to be very different from the things you are actually interested in in real life - including things like BDSM scenes. Sure some people want to do those things in real life, but far more would rather just imagine it safely in their own heads.

Normal is a funny word, and I'm not sure that there is a "normal" way to be sexual, but I don't think that the things you're describing are especially weird or wrong, if that helps?

I remember when I was really young, I would get aroused from imagining scenarios in which another person and I would vaguely embrace. I was too young to know what sex was or to even conceive of my body as being in a state of arousal. I just gradually explored things mentally and physically that piqued my interest! Human sexuality is very complex and fluid that way - our bodies can have a capacity for desire before our conscious mind figures out what desire is.