What is the problem?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Koro704
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 6:28 pm
Age: 19
Awesomeness Quotient: my gayness makes me cry rainbows, its infectious;)
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What is the problem?

Unread post by Koro704 »

Hi so, my boyfriend and me have been together for around 6 months, im 15 and hes 14 and we lost our virginity together but he has allways had troule feeling it. We have sex in loads of diffrent positions but he can only cum when im on top. Its not because hes lazy or anything because he still does alot but he just doesnt get pleasure? Is this normal? I dont know how to fix it, he says its something about not being able to tense his penis and move his hips at the same time.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: What is the problem?

Unread post by Heather »

Hey there. :)

So, based just on what you posted, I don't see that there *is* a problem?

In the case you're thinking something is the matter when someone can (so far, or period) only reach orgasm one very specific way, it's actually very for people to have only a couple -- if that many! -- ways, alone or with partners, that they find they can reach orgasm or ejaculate. I'd say someone very young having only one way is super common. The idea that people can come a million ways isn't at all realistic: porn and other sexual media can make it look that way, but that's not just how it usually is in people's real sexual lives.

Ultimately, doing a bunch of different things should just be about what you both like and want and what feels good for you both. Sometimes sex won't "end" with orgasm for one or both people at all, but if and when people enjoyed themselves with everything they were doing, that's often not even a big deal when it happens.

Do you want to talk about why you think or feel like this is a problem? Is there something else that's an issue with this for you you didn't mention, like you not actually liking being on top, or feeling like you have to do that even when it's not something you want or when you're too tired?
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