can't orgasm (female)

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Xee
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2023 7:31 am
Age: 17
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: england

can't orgasm (female)

Unread post by Xee »

I love masturbating, I'm so horny and so dirty minded and so sexual. But I literally can't make myself cum and it's THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING EVER. I don't have a sex toy and can't get one without my parents finding out so I use my hairbrush as like a dildo and it feels great but I'll be there for up to an hour and I still won't finish. It's so unfair, idk what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I've tried everything. Even playing with my nipples feels amazing and helps, I have really sensitive nipples, but I still can't cum. I try rubbing my clit but that doesn't even feel good and idk why, I'm 100% sure I'm rubbing the right area but it really doesn't do much, it just feels kinda ticklish. I've gotten my friend to order me a vibrator and I'm really excited to try it out but I feel like that still won't help. It's so not fair I really just wanna cum.
Sam W
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Re: can't orgasm (female)

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Xee,

You're already doing a lot of the things we recommend, like continuing to experiment with different kinds of touch or sensations, which is great! I hear you that it can be frustrating to have your body not respond the way you want it to, but if you take a look around the boards you'll see you're far from alone in experiencing this.

You've talked a lot about the physical things you're trying. Can I ask what your brain is usually doing when you try masturbating? Are you really engaged in or turned on by a fantasy? Are you bored? Frustrated from the start? Does your mind feel like it's not really involved in what's going on?

I do want to say that with both the hairbrush and any sex toy you might get, if it's going inside your body you really want to be covering it with a condom to protect against any bacteria that might be hanging around.
Xee
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2023 7:31 am
Age: 17
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual
Location: england

Re: can't orgasm (female)

Unread post by Xee »

Hey, I am usually fantasising and/or watching something or texting someone (sexual convos and stuff) or reading smut or literally anything but yeah after a while it does just get frustrating and I get really impatient.
And yeah, that's another thing, I get really paranoid and scared that I'm gonna get an infection or something. I always clean the hairbrush before and after but I'm still scared and idk where to get a condom from.
Latha
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Location: India

Re: can't orgasm (female)

Unread post by Latha »

Honestly, that is really frustrating, and I totally understand feeling impatient! Feeling stressed like that can make it harder to orgasm though, because it takes you out of the moment. As Sam said, continuing to experiement with different kinds of touch and sensation will help. Try not to put pressure on yourself- people often stumble upon things that work on accident, during their explorations.

As for where you can get condoms- so many places! I’ve looked into it, the good news is that there’s no age limit for getting condoms in England. You can just buy them, of course- online, at pharmacies or stores, or from vending machines in restrooms. But in many places, like sexual health/contraception clinics or some GP offices, you can get them for free. Here’s an NHS website page that will help you find a clinic if you’d like.

Also, many pharmacies and stores will give you free condoms if you have a C-card. C-card is a scheme that provides free access to condoms and lube. Depending on where you live, you can register for a C-card at a sexual health clinic, with your school nurse, online, at a pharmacy, or a health center. Your card won’t contain any personal information. Places that accept c-cards will have a C-card logo. In some places, C-card services can discretely mail condoms to you as well.

This website should give you the information you need to access C-card.

I hope this helps!
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