I (17M) have been masturbating for 4, maybe 5 years now, except that the stuff that I've been masturbating to isn't vanilla. I'm into some very niche fetishes which many would find gross, and it's really the only kind of porn that I've watched and managed to get myself off to. I'm not really ashamed of them at all and I've come to terms with my own desires, but I've never been able to enjoy normal, vanilla porn at all.
I think vanilla porn is hot. Like, whenever I see two guys getting on with it, I am able to get an erection, but for some reason I'm not able to get past that phase. I get a hard on, but I can't actually get off to and get an orgasm from it, not without thinking about my fetishes.
I didn't think of it much at first, but then I realized that it might have an effect on me later on if I ever get into a relationship. What then? If I can't even get off to vanilla porn, what makes me think that I would be able to get off to vanilla sex for real? What if I can't get off to normal sex? What if I would just end up becoming a disappointment to my future partners? The thought scares me. If I can't even enjoy normal porn, chances are I wouldn't be able to enjoy normal sex either, and I feel like every future relationship I'll have in the future would end in failure as a result.
Don't get me wrong, I like the things I'm into, and I don't plan on getting rid of them, but I do wish I'm able to turn them down a notch so I can enjoy other stuff too. The thing is, despite the fact that I can't get off to it, the idea of normal, vanilla sex is incredibly enticing to me, and I find it incredibly romantic. I really really do wanna be able to enjoy it.
What should I do? Is there a way for me to be able to make my brain like vanilla stuff? Maybe I just desensitized myself too much with extreme porn? Maybe I just need a loving partner for me to enjoy vanilla sex? I would really appreciate some advice.