hey! sorry, i know i’ve posted a lot on here! i’m not used to having a resource to ask about these things, and now that i’m willingly sexually active again, i have a lot to think about.
so, the guy i’ve been having sex with is very attentive about using condoms, i’ve only had to ask once, which makes me feel good. however, i find that penetration can be painful, and he doesn’t have lube. i also worry about the condom without lube, honestly.
in his defence, i haven’t brought it up properly. i’m kind of afraid of hurting his feelings or making him feel awkward because i’m not ‘wet enough’? i tried to mention it once, but it was as he was (kind of painfully) putting his penis in. i wasn’t kind about it, i said something like ‘do you not have any fucking lube, man?’ which absolutely isnt how to start a conversation and i don’t blame him for not having a response to that. i would like to bring it up again in a civil way, but i’m not really sure how? (i also plan on apologizing for kind of snapping at him)
the point is that i don’t want him to feel weird, but i also don’t want to be in pain every time we have sex, and i’d like to start prioritizing myself a little more. (if this was even a few months ago i’d likely just ignore it) he’s very kind to me and will ask if he’s hurting me or if he can do anything to help, so i don’t fear a negative response necessarily, just an awkward conversation. i’m also 1000 percent willing to buy the lube myself, i just want to have the conversation before i do so.