sensory issues and sex

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
dollparties
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sensory issues and sex

Unread post by dollparties »

i feel like this is kind of an odd topic, i apologize in advance!
but i’m autistic, and have a lot of problems sensory-wise, and find that a lot of the time in situations where it gets sexual, i end up literally chewing on the other person. chewing is a big stim for me, and i think it’s a comfort thing when it comes to situations like this, but obviously it gets seen as a bit weird when they’re trying to kiss me and i’m totally lost in chewing on their shoulder. point is, i end up stimming in unconventional ways in sexual situations because they tend to overwhelm me (not necessarily in a bad way, its just a lot of stimulation) and this usually results in me biting people. its not meant maliciously, or even sexually, its just my response to the situations for some reason. i think the last person i was with thought it was something kind of cute, but it does come across as weird to a lot of people. i’m not necessarily asking for advice, because i don’t know what i want advice ON, but more asking if i’m alone in this? does anybody else tend to stim in situations like this? i’ve even noticed that when making out becomes too much, i tend to break it off and kiss all over their neck to get rid of the extra energy. this one, people find a bit less weird, but still. how do you guys deal with it if you do the same thing?
Siân
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Re: sensory issues and sex

Unread post by Siân »

Hi dollparties!

I'm not autistic and so can't speak from my own experiences of stimming, but this actually doesn't sound that weird to me! Biting and kissing are not that unrelated, and some people are going to be into it. As long as your partner is on board there's nothing wrong with some gentle chewing. If it's something you know you find helpful, then maybe you can bring it up with your partners ahead of time? If they're not into it, maybe you can have something else on hand to chew on - a pillow, a toy, some gum, your own arm, anything really?
Raffles
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Re: sensory issues and sex

Unread post by Raffles »

Hi there!

I just wanted to chime in that there are stim toys specifically for chewing, if that would help. The company I know of is called "chewlery," and they make charms that you can chew on. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and hardness levels.
dollparties
not a newbie
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:39 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: i’m a very vibrant person!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: he/she/they
Sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: canada

Re: sensory issues and sex

Unread post by dollparties »

Siân wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 6:08 am Hi dollparties!

I'm not autistic and so can't speak from my own experiences of stimming, but this actually doesn't sound that weird to me! Biting and kissing are not that unrelated, and some people are going to be into it. As long as your partner is on board there's nothing wrong with some gentle chewing. If it's something you know you find helpful, then maybe you can bring it up with your partners ahead of time? If they're not into it, maybe you can have something else on hand to chew on - a pillow, a toy, some gum, your own arm, anything really?
thank you for making me feel a little less weird! sorry for not responding sooner, i work full time and it’s absolutely kicking my butt right now.
i think bringing an alternative to chew on is a good idea, i’ll keep that in mind! thank you!
Raffles wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 7:57 am Hi there!

I just wanted to chime in that there are stim toys specifically for chewing, if that would help. The company I know of is called "chewlery," and they make charms that you can chew on. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and hardness levels.
i have a couple chew stims! i never really considered using them in this situation, that’s really smart, thank you! i’m unintentionally a very bite-y person, so i got myself some over the last few years. :)
Siân
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Re: sensory issues and sex

Unread post by Siân »

I'm glad you found it helpful! And thanks Raffles for that useful tip :)
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