I don't want to wait to be on a dating site

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Pansexualpannda
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2022 12:34 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm a genderless bean
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: They /them
Sexual identity and orientation: Pansexual demisexual
Location: United States

I don't want to wait to be on a dating site

Unread post by Pansexualpannda »

So I've been trying hard to wait till I'm 18 to get on a dating site because I'm on testosterone and we'll it's really hard to date when your surrounded by transphobic idiots yet at the same time there's apps for people like me only when their 18 so I can't do anything basically.😿
Elise
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 188
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 4:44 am
Age: 31
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: bisexual/queer
Location: Narrm/Melbourne

Re: I don't want to wait to be on a dating site

Unread post by Elise »

Hi there Pansexualpannda, and welcome to Scarleteen. I'm really sorry to hear that your circumstances are really rough at the moment, and that you really want to connect with people who are like you and understand you. Many of us have been there - here on our forums can be a great place to talk out feelings about these kind of feelings, so whether it's some listening ears or advice that you would like, we are here.

[Trigger warning this section mentions online grooming] :
Whilst this doesn't change the feeling of frustration or of neeciding connection, the reason that dating sites are restricted to people over the age of 18 is because of issues around how some terrible adults would then seek it out to predate on the under-18 users. Also in most jurisdictions, there are rules about access to/service of sexual content to people under the age of 18, and a dating site would have a very hard time enforcing (or claiming) that messages of a sexual nature would not be exchanged by users on the service. [End trigger warning]

I imagine that you probably are already aware of this, and it is more the lack of avenues for connection whilst you are in a space where people aren't accepting of your true self that is the thing that is hard here, would that be right? If so and you're open to some ideas, there are ways access safe online queer community spaces online that can help you forge connections, and are useful as social spaces separate to dating even when you are at the age to use dating apps, to meet queer folk in platonic contexts too!

Here are a few options, do any of these sound appealing to you?
  • Q Chat Space (a moderated chat space for LGBTQIA+ teens co-founded by CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers, PFLAG and Planned Parenthood)
  • TrevorSpace (an affirming, online community for LGBTQ young people between the ages of 13-24 years old run by The Trevor Project).
  • The AVEN Forums - AVEN is the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, and this of course includes demisexual folks.
  • For places to meet offline, there is the directory of LGBT Community Centers here, too. In case there is a center near to you: https://www.lgbtcenters.org/LGBTCenters
Do any of the above sound good? If you feel comfortable sharing further thoughts, questions or feelings that come up, you are very welcome to share them here 😊
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