Hi all. I’m 14 and I am quite scared of masturbation.
Basically, I have bad anxiety and extreme paranoia. I didn’t masturbate for awhile as I had extreme paranoia that I had an STD (which isn’t even possible). The few/recent times I tried nothing good came from it and I felt more anxious.
I can only fit one finger in my vagina. It goes in pretty easily but when I tried to fit two there just wasn’t any room for the second one to actually go in. Doing anything inside my vagina with one finger doesn’t do anything exciting.
My clit is sensitive and I can’t tell if I’m experiencing pleasure or pain by touching it. A few nights ago I got super horny (to the point where I felt lightheaded) and no matter what I would do i didn’t feel completed. I rubbed my clit, I went in and out with my middle finger (as it’s the only thing that fits) and yet it felt like I just had to pee bad, that’s it. I got bored after 13 minutes so I just stopped.
What am I doing wrong? I cant go to the doctor nor can I try any toys. I tried an electric toothbrush once but I did it wrong and with my parents around it brings me extra anxiety. I just want to feel pleasure without having to worry and ruin the vibe.