I get overstimulated so easy when masturbating

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Elias
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I get overstimulated so easy when masturbating

Unread postby Elias » Thu Apr 29, 2021 4:14 pm

I'm transmasc and have been on testosterone for one month. Before I was always too dysphoric to try to touch myself, so I have no experience whatsoever, but now the horniness that's common to experience while starting T is hitting and having bottom growth has lessened my dysphoria enough to try to masturbate.

The main problem I've run into is that my new dick is much too sensitive, it feels sort of good to touch it but it also feels unbearable, way too raw, and I get overstimulated and have to stop after just a couple of minutes. I don't think I've been anywhere close to finishing. [Although the twitching and muscle clenching is kinda fun.) Should I assume this is normal over-sensitivity from my dick growing? I really hope this isn't how sex is supposed to feel, I don't think that would be particularly satisfying in the long run. (Unless I get into edging? At some point I'm going to try that.)

I'm not looking for a direct solution to this problem, really, I think I mostly need some reassurance.

Inserting anything into my vagina feels .. mostly okay. Fingers are nice, but that's more because I like the soft and squishy feeling of the walls around my fingers than anything else.

There's also the fact that I live in a family where we don't really close our doors and if I closed my door, people would either take it as that I'm feeling bad and try to talk to me, or they'd ignore that the door is closed and walk in anyway, so I'm nervous about being found out, and I'm sure that plays a part as well.

The past few days I've felt really weird since I'm not used to having any libido to speak of and it's getting rather distracting. Is there anything I can do to take the edge off so that I'm not so bothered during the day?

Thank you for your time,

Elias

Siân
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Re: I get overstimulated so easy when masturbating

Unread postby Siân » Fri Apr 30, 2021 4:42 am

Hi Elias!

It's not at all unusual for you to be feeling aroused more, or noticing that you're more sensitive where you have bottom growth having started on T.

Honestly, what you're describing sounds like what plenty of people, trans or not, experience when they first start to masturbate. This feels good => no I'm done and it's way too sensitive now. Learning to build intensity in ways that feel good can take time! Try experimenting with building sensation more gradually - perhaps focusing on other parts of your body or touching your dick indirectly or through clothes and building up - and de-escalating briefly when it starts feeling too intense. Does that make sense?

Partnered sex brings in a whole lot of additional factors which can up the pleasure you're feeling, so while there is no one way that sex is supposed to feel, if you follow what feels good I don't see any reason why sex - partnered or solo - shouldn't be satisfying in the long run. When it comes to "finishing", for some people orgasm happens easily from the beginning but some of us have to learn how through some attention and experimentation. Think of clenching and feeling of "I'm done" as the seeds of an orgasm that you can nurture and grow. What do you think?

You also flagged a privacy worry. We have a bunch of tips in these articles about finding privacy and managing some of those anxieties:
Deep Cover: Tips for Managing Anxiety or Privacy Worries When Masturbating at Home
How can I masturbate without my parents knowing?

Elias
not a newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 4:01 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I know many scary horse facts
My primary language: English
My pronouns: he/it
My sexual identity and orientation: grey-ace, queer
Location: Eeby Deeby

Re: I get overstimulated so easy when masturbating

Unread postby Elias » Fri Apr 30, 2021 1:21 pm

Thank you Siân for your reply, I must admit I found it very reassuring. I've had a look at the articles you linked and will take your advice into consideration, I'm sure with some time I'll figure it out!

Siân
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 673
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2017 6:10 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I ask ALLLLL the questions
My primary language: English
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: Figuring it out
Location: UK

Re: I get overstimulated so easy when masturbating

Unread postby Siân » Wed May 05, 2021 3:22 am

My pleasure, so glad you're feeling reassured :) I'm happy to talk more if you have any follow-up questions too!


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