hi! seems as though i’m posting here a lot. maybe that’s a good thing!
for context, my libido is INCREDIBLY high and i’m the most hypersexual person i know. this is due to a few different things, and i’ve never considered it an issue (just something to discipline myself with when i make impulsive decisions).
my libido is so high that i’m never in a state of NOT being horny. i’m always at least at a 1, where 0 is not horny and 10 being tied to the bed or some other kinky stuff. it’s always at least in the background of my mind.
i only engage in sexual acts with myself or my partner when i actually feel like it, though, which means ..higher than a 5. i never do things out of boredom. we only do sexual things with ourselves or each other if we feel comfortable, safe, and horny enough, and never just because we have nothing else to do.
but today, i did something strange. i notice that sometimes my brain tells me “do a horny thing!” without me actually being bothered at ALL. i usually ignore it as impulse, and distract myself and move on with my day. but today was different.
i was cuddling with my partner, when my brain just said...sorry for the slang, but “dick in mouth. do it.” and i went ...okay...well, i CAN. but i’m not horny at all. so there’s no real reason to. i’m not OPPOSED to doing it, but what’s the point? and brain said “:3 do it” and i pretty much tried to analyze this very strange thought for about 10 minutes before i told my partner about it. we both thought it was really funny how i felt the need to do that without even being horny, and we joked around about it for a while.
to summarize, yea i ended up doing it. for fun? for some reason. i was at maybe a level 2 or 3 horny here, which is where i’m at normally anyway. but i still enjoyed myself and enjoyed doing it because performing that act is just..kinda fun for me, and my partner DEFINITELY enjoyed it.
later, i got self conscious about it. is that unhealthy? i wasn’t doing it out of boredom, and i definitely enjoyed doing it and enjoyed pleasuring my partner. but i wasn’t necessarily horny either, and simply...wanted to do it for fun? i’m not sure how to properly explain my feelings about it...
is this unhealthy? i keep weighing the evidence for both sides and i’m conflicted here.