Is it bad to be a 16 year old boy who's into the submissive side of BDSM?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
P_2_dsx
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 4:04 pm
Age: 17
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity and orientation: Straight
Location: UK

Is it bad to be a 16 year old boy who's into the submissive side of BDSM?

Unread post by P_2_dsx »

Hi!

I'm 16 years old and since the age of 12 have been fascinated by the idea of BDSM. Being a boy, you'd probably expect me to be interested in games and the like but no. And even if you knew I was interested in BDSM you'd probably assume I was a dominant. But no.

I am nearing the end of high school and am beginning to start Alevels and thinking about my future. But back to the topic.

I really want some advice and help about this as I am scared do telling my parents as I fear they won't like it.

All I want to know is, is what I like normal?

Please note: I don't partake in any bdsm activities at all and would only consider this at the age of 21. However I do things on my own but this doesn't include anything that could harm me or is illegal (crawling around the house in minimal clothing when my parents are out and wearing my collar when they are out).
Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7366
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: Is it bad to be a 16 year old boy who's into the submissive side of BDSM?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi P_2_dsx,

Nothing you're describing sounds bad or like a problem. Being curious about or interested in different sexual things is pretty common for someone your age. And as far as the submissive element goes, people of all genders can be into any given element of BDSM (or sex in general).

You'll notice I'm not using the word "normal." That's because normal is a word we tend to steer clear of when talking about sex, because sexuality is so diverse that normal becomes a pretty useless term. You can read more about that here, if you're curious: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... _who_cares.

You mention being scared to tell your parents about this. Is there a reason you feel like you need to tell them?
RaspBlue30
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2021 5:34 pm
Age: 16
Awesomeness Quotient: I love to learn
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: She/Her
Sexual identity and orientation: Straight & BDSM?
Location: NY, US

Re: Is it bad to be a 16 year old boy who's into the submissive side of BDSM?

Unread post by RaspBlue30 »

Hello,

I don't know if this will help, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I am 16 years old and also interested in BDSM. I haven't actually started trying out stuff(like the collar), I actually just realized a few months ago and came to this site because I needed reassurance I'm not alone.

P.S. if you are comfortable and want to, I'm open to talk about BDSM with you to learn from each other, but if you don't want to, that's totally fine.
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 29
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity and orientation: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Is it bad to be a 16 year old boy who's into the submissive side of BDSM?

Unread post by Carly »

Hey P_2_dsx! I noticed that you specified your gender in the thread title - does that have any impact on how you feel about being interested in being submissive or why you have concerns?
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic