Masturbating worries

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Sunnycake_123
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Age: 14
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Sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
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Masturbating worries

Unread post by Sunnycake_123 »

Okay this is kind of embarrasing but im worried so,
I am 13 (almost 14) and last year during the first lockdown i watched a film that made me feel all tingly and it felt good but like strange and i did some research and learnt about masturbation. I tried using my fingers but it just doesnt work I can feel something and it feels a little good but i cant climax or anything. When doing research i learnt about vibrators and saw something about using DIY vibrators. At like the end of summer i tried using an electric toothbrush (switching the heads over). It felt really good and I can climax and orgasm and now i do it like twice every week. But im really scared because i cant do anything with my fingers. And as im a lesbian i know its the main of sex for wlw and im scared that for my first time it wont work. (I know its a long way away like 3 yrs but im still really scared).

I'm Also really scared because i know alot of the straight girls wear thongs at school (I think its unessecary) and talk about shaving and getting bikini waxes and some girls have even had sex (I know its really bad and illeagal) . But i kind of want too know if i should shave around my vagina and like start getting myself ready and making sure my hygiene is good. (And i know its a far way off but im just really paranoid).

This is so embarrasing but if anyone could help that'd be greatly appreciated.
Heather
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Re: Masturbating worries

Unread post by Heather »

Hey there, Sunnycake.

So, I want to let you know a couple of things you just don't have to worry about.

1) There's no "main sex" for any gender or orientation. What kind of sex people have, how frequently, and what ways, is different from person to person, couple to couple (or, trio to trio, group to group, what have you). There's no one way, sex, when people are doing it in the ways that are really about the actual people involved, not everyone's ideas of how things "should" be, is highly personalized, and is about what feels good and works for the unique individuals, their unique bodies and unique sexualities AND how those work together. So! Who knows what's going to feel good to you over a lifetime: you're just now starting to explore things, and in pandemic conditions, no less. But even if it turned out you didn't like anything to do with fingers and only liked toys, that'd be just fine, for a first time or a 301st time. There are no requirements here, and if it ever feels like there are with someone, know that dynamic'll be what's wrong, not whatever it is you do or don't like, okay?

2) There's also no right or wrong about what kind of undergarments you wear or what you do or don't do with your body hair. There's no should, and getting rid of pubic hair has nothing to do with hygiene: that hair actually helps keep bacteria out, it's one of it's jobs, so without it, you kind of have to do a little more work on your own in that department (which is also a fine choice if it's the one you want to make). The vagina cleans itself, and as far as your vulva goes, so long as you wash it on the regular with some clean, warm water -- you don't even have to use a soap, but if you do, it just needs to be very gentle, and only on the external parts, never inside the vagina -- you're good. People have sex who have pubic hair, people have sex who trim or remove it: there's no one thing anyone needs to do for their genitals to be "ready" for sex in that way. This is just about personal preferences.

P.S. Sex isn't bad. For sure, it's not always lawful for people to engage in certain kinds of it, but wholly consensual sex that everyone involved wants, and feels ready for, where people are good to one another, and that people feel good about? It's not bad.

I don't see any reason for you to feel embarrassed asking these questions. It's okay to ask! :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Sunnycake_123
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2021 11:16 am
Age: 14
Awesomeness Quotient: My hair
Primary language: English
Preferred pronouns: They/them
Sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian
Location: UK

Re: Masturbating worries

Unread post by Sunnycake_123 »

Thank you!
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